Rich Tucker

Speaking of “crucify in the media,” is there anyone who’s been crucified more often than George W. Bush? Late night comedians aren’t the only ones who’ve raked him over the coals. The mainstream media is ever-ready to pile on as well. The passport fiasco offers a perfect template. Something goes wrong (it purportedly takes weeks to get a passport) and the press features innumerable front-page stories about the systemic breakdown (all Bush’s fault, naturally). Swiftly, the problem is fixed (recently, my wife and I separately renewed our passports, and had the new documents within just a few weeks) and, somehow, that’s never mentioned.

Also laughable is the idea, apparently widespread on the left, that conservatives are trying to do them in (lynch them?). A few weeks ago, Air America radio host Randi Rhodes was off the air because of some sort of injury. Randi’s friends were quick to blame conservatives. “Is this an attempt by the right-wing hate machine to silence one of our own?” Air America’s Jon Elliot asked on the air. “Are they afraid that we’re winning? Are they trying to silence, to intimidate us?” Liberal blogs were also quick to assume this was, as one put it, “a politically-motivated assault.”

Well, it turns out the “Randi Rhodes beating” was as phony as any beating endured by former pro wrestler Dusty Rhodes. Randi simply took a drunken spill. Hey, been there, done that, have the scar on my leg. Of course, when I took my tumble in college, I didn’t think to blame the George H.W. Bush administration for my own poor judgment. Although, to be fair, maybe Randi’s drinks were spiked by conservatives …

These are serious times, but even with the writers on strike, real-life comedy is all around us. In my neighborhood recently, green “Impeach Him” signs have been springing up like mushrooms after a heavy rain. Well, your party controls congress. Go for it. Should be good for some laughs, anyway.

In the meantime, a representative from the Writers Guild of America is criticizing Ellen. “She should stand by her writers and help us bring this strike to a conclusion. We owe that to the thousands of people who are caught in the middle,” he said. Well, the writers can conclude their strike any time they please. Their keyboards are standing by, so to speak.

If they’re smart, the TV writers will hurry back and start banging out their predictable quips again. Otherwise, their jobs may disappear, since the true statements of liberals seem much funnier than anything ever scripted.

Rich Tucker

Rich Tucker is a communications professional and a columnist for