It?s time again for everyone?s favorite quadrennial event. No, not the presidential race. Nobody pays attention to that until after Labor Day, political professionals tell us. And not the leap day. All that does is mess up calendars. How the heck did Christmas end up on a Saturday again?
The summer Olympics are back, in all their glory. And this year, they?re returning to their roots, in Greece.
Many people, of course, expected Athens would get the centennial games back in 1996. That honor went to Atlanta, though. And we (I was a proud Atlanta resident from 1993-1999) did them up in all-American style.
Those games were great, but some thought the commercialism was a bit overdone. Subsequent games have tended to be smaller and quieter. This year?s Athens edition will follow that model, which is probably a good thing. After all, construction of some venues is so far behind schedule, they might not be finished until after the games.
In retrospect, it?s probably good that the International Olympic Committee gave the Greeks an extra eight years -- that gave them time to at least come close to being ready to host an Olympics.
Meanwhile, since I?m so keyed up for the games this year, I?ve decided to make a documentary about the history of the Olympics. There are plenty of good things to highlight.
Did you know, for instance, that all wars supposedly stopped during the games in ancient Athens? Let?s hope that tradition continues this year. Also, everyone used to compete naked. That, we can probably do without.
Interestingly, the idea to hold an Olympic competition was first conceived by a close advisor to Alexander the Great named Dick Cheneyopolus. Apparently he saw it as a great way to advertise his new company.
That company (Halliburton, maybe you?ve heard of it?) was also the first corporation in history. Cheneyopolus claimed he?d sold off all his interests in it when he went to war alongside Alexander. But we know better. Since Halliburton was the only company that manufactured the spears and shields used in battle, he stood to profit handsomely from the fighting.
Alexander, of course, was the son of a war-making king. But it?s little known that he wasn?t the wonderful leader we all think of. Karl Rovenasis, the world?s first spinmeister, added the nickname ?The Great? when Alexander was considering an invasion of India.
Everyone in Greece understood that Cheneyopolus was the real power behind the throne. Alexander had few original thoughts, but was certainly bloodthirsty.
In fact, after replacing his father on the throne, he invaded the Middle East, to complete the conquest his old man had failed to achieve.