Outside, roving bands of singers sometimes go from house to house singing Holiday carols, including "The 12 Days of Holiday" and "We Wish You a Merry Holiday." Other popular Holiday songs are "Rockin' Around the Holiday Tree," "I'll Be Home for Holiday" and "All I Want for Holiday is My Two Front Teeth." For the lighthearted, there's always that mischievous ditty that packs a serious message about the nation's need for affordable prescription drugs: "Grandma got run over by a reindeer/Walking home from our house Holiday eve."
Workers try not to embarrass themselves at Holiday parties, kicking off a season of overconsumption with the drinking of inappropriate amounts of alcohol and the wearing of tacky Holiday apparel, like reindeer antlers and flashing ties. Throughout the land, people give their enemies super-hardened Holiday fruitcakes, and fatten themselves on that product of the unholy alliance of the dairy, liquor, and nutmeg industries, eggnog. Holiday cookies abound, sometimes in the shape of mysterious winged creatures, in what might be a reference to Victoria's Secret models.
But for all the changes that have made Holiday what it is today, some things never change. On Holiday eve, not a creature will be stirring, no, not even a mouse. Until the night is rent with that joyous call from "The Senior with Weight Issues Formally Known as Saint Nick": "To all a Merry Holiday, and to all a good night ..."