"I didn't pay my taxes because I was too involved with embezzling funds from my company."
"I haven't put the garbage out in six months because my fridge is on the blink."
Feel free to send in your own oxymoronic excuse.
The new texts were posted on a site called, "TheDirty."
You know that old saying "Don't do anything you wouldn't want to see on the front page of the Washington Post (or another paper of your choice)?"
Here's an update: "Don't do anything that will land you on the front page of a website called 'TheDirty.'"
TheDirty has reprinted some of the texts, and they are most definitely NSFW (Not Safe for Work) so if you go there, you have been warned.
Weiner will not drop out of the race for Mayor -- he is within the margin of error of the lead -- and his wife, Huma Abedin, not only stood at his side but announced she was staying with him and he was staying in the race.
It was not lost on observers that his wife has been a long-time aide to Hillary Clinton, who knows a little something about being delivered of that kind of behavior from her husband.
The best part of all this was Weiner had adopted a nom de plume: Carlos Danger.
I am changing my Twitter handle from @richgalen to @escobar_vulnerable.
I should be delivered of lots of dates.