I have resisted writing about Tiger Woods because I don't want to hold myself out as a paragon of virtue. But yesterday a fifth woman spoke up and said she'd had an affair with the golfer.
The Mullings Director of Standards & Practices asked me what I thought of that and I said, keeping faith with my gender, "That's only one per year of marriage."
If you need me I'll be in the den for the next few nights. UPDATE: While I was writing this column, MSNBC's gossip columnist Courtney Hazlett filed a story saying:
The number of women connected to Tiger Woods could topple a dozen by week's end, according to several sources familiar with Woods' behavior during his frequent trips to Las Vegas.
That's more than two per year of marriage. I guess I'll be sleeping in the garage.
New Topic III:
That couple that crashed the White House State Dinner last week might be having some second thoughts. According to local reporting, they had to appear at the local courthouse to answer for having stiffed a guy who did some work on their property for about $2,000. According to the AP
"Tareq Salahi was forced to give up a Patek Phillipe [watch] he was wearing to pay the couple's $2,000 debt to a landscaper."
Not only that, but according to the Washington Post, when they came out of the courthouse sans watch, old Tareq had a ticket on his car for having an expired inspection sticker.
Not done yet, though. Montgomery County, Maryland where the fantasy couple lives, controls liquor sales. Again, according to the AP,
"The Montgomery County government filed a lawsuit Thursday against Michaele and Tareq Salahi" for "bouncing a nearly $24,000 check for liquor purchased … for America's Polo Cup World Championship, a charity polo event they held in the county last May."
How long do you think it will be until until Michaele Salahi claims she (a) had an affair with Tiger Woods and (b) she is unemployed?