Rich Galen

It's a Friday. It's about three weeks before Christmas. There is just too much stuff to deal with so … Let's ignore it all.

First, from the LA Times: Green Onions Suspected in E. coli Poisonings are Traced to Oxnard

Green onions that are suspected of containing a virulent pathogen that has sickened Taco Bell customers in six states were grown in Oxnard by one of Ventura County's largest vegetable growers. At least 58 cases of E. coli food poisoning have been reported in the past week, mostly in New Jersey and New York.

New Rule: Don't eat the green onions at a Taco Bell. Especially if you live in New York or New Jersey. If you live in Texas, you can eat at a real Tex-Mex restaurant. If you live in Iowa … have a Pork Tenderloin sandwich. It will kill you, but you'll die happy.

The Hillary Campaign is over. According to a Marist College poll (Marist College, for the uninitiated, is located in beautiful downtown Poughkeepsie, New York which, for those who are REALLY uninitiated is pronounced … NOO YORK) less than half of the Democrats polled would "definitely consider" voting for Hillary for President.

More disturbing for the Clintonistas is the fact that only 22% of independents would definitely consider voting for her. 45% of independents would "definitely NOT consider" voting for her.

In the head-to-head measure, we see why a lot of Democrats are concerned about her winning the nomination.

Against Condoleezza Rice: Hillary 47% Rice 43%

Against Rudy Giuliani: Hillary 43% Giuliani 49%

Against John McCain: Hillary 43% McCain 49%

We win. Yea!

The Marist poll also asked Republicans whom they favored for the nomination. The results were:

Giuliani: 24%

McCain: 23%

Rice: 15%

Gingrich: 8%

Romney: 4%

NASA has announced it has photos which show the existence of water on Mars. NASA, remember, actually MISSED Mars a couple of times. Missed a whole planet. One time it was because one set of controllers was using American measurements and another group was using the Metric system.

Maybe NASA found water. Maybe NASA found little green men. Maybe NASA is doing this to boost the DVD release of the new version of "War of the Worlds."

If you have a child you know that sooner or later he or she will come home from school bearing a gift: Head lice.

This happened to The Lad when he was in third or fourth grade and it was the source of no small amount of angst in the Mullings household.

Now, it seems, a blast from a hair dryer will kill the little … buggers. According a published report:

Small insects are susceptible to desiccation, or drying, because they have a high surface area-to-volume ratio. When lice become dehydrated, they die. Researchers used this idea to develop the LouseBuster, a hairdryer-like device that kills lice using hot air.

I can't wait for that guy who shouts at me to buy OXYCLEAN to scream during commercial breaks in Law & Order reruns that my life will definitely change for the better if I call right now and order my LOUSEBUSTER.

Yikes.

It's not just Britany Spears, but now Jennifer Aniston is available as well. It seems that Aniston and some guy named Vince Vaughn (yeah, right) were an item but now they're not. According to the International Herald Tribune (for which, apparently, it was a slow news day):

Aniston, 37, a star of the former "Friends" television series, took up with Vaughn, 36, who starred in the film "The Wedding Crashers," after splitting with her husband, Brad Pitt.

See? While you were wasting your time reading the Baker-Hamilton report, the Jennster and the Vinster were breaking up.

2007 can't come soon enough.

On the Secret Decoder Ring today: A link to the Taco Bell piece in the LA Times, the Marist College Poll, the Water on Mars story, the head lice piece and the Jennifer Aniston story (which is not the same as the head lice thing). Also a Mullfoto which you might find uncomfortable and a Catchy Caption of the Day which might well induce a grand mal seizure.


Rich Galen

Rich Galen has been a press secretary to Dan Quayle and Newt Gingrich. Rich Galen currently works as a journalist and writes at Mullings.com.