So what’s the harm? Dr. Hilton’s article explains how the production of the natural and powerful hormone oxytocin, which occurs during sexual encounters, helps us form emotional bonds with our mates. Dr. Hilton writes, “We are wired to bond to the object of our sexuality.” In the case of the pornography user, the sexual side of the user, “becomes, in a sense, dehumanized.” Many develop an “antisocial lust devoid of most values” and the high they get from pornography “becomes more important than real life relationships.”
Dr. Judith Reisman is perhaps the nation’s leading expert on the affects of pornography usage and how it often leads to an addiction that destroys relationships. Many addicts are doomed to a life of sexual dissatisfaction and lose the ability to forge an intimate bond with their spouse. A woman I know whose husband was addicted to pornography says, “It was like having a mistress in my home.” Both she and her husband experienced deep loneliness and emptiness as the fantasies and need for ever more perverted images began to crush their marriage.
The good news is, like with any powerful addiction, there is hope.
The best course is to be proactive in shutting out porn before it takes up permanent residence in your home. Get an internet filter (I recommend the one at www.Bsecure.com). Block cable porn channels, or get rid of cable altogether. And discuss openly with your children the harms and dangers of porn. Since 90 percent of children who go online will view internet porn (many just while doing their homework), we are, for the first time in history, now raising an entire generation of children on hard core pornography. Stop usage early by using the great tools at www.enough.org which are designed to help you have those difficult conversations.
And for those who have a porn addiction, it’s time to get help. To locate a trained therapist in your area, call 1-800-A-FAMILY or log on to www.family.org and type “counseling” in the search box