“How do these kids even know about this?”
Scott Poland, past president of the National Association of
School Psychologists, asked the question in dismay as he began to absorb the
findings of a growing trend reported by the Associated Press last weekend --
that the number of sex-related crimes committed by juveniles has jumped over
the last few years. “Treatment professionals say the offenders are getting
younger and the crimes more violent,” the article read.
The AP conducted an analysis of crime statistics and found
that the number of children under 18 accused of forcible rape, violent and
nonviolent sex offenses rose from 24,100 in 1985 to 33,800 in 2004. Rape and
sexual assaults by adults, meanwhile, thankfully decreased more than 56 percent
from 1993 to 2004.
You don’t have to be the mother of three, as I am, to be
horrified at the increase in youth crime.
Consider these nauseating real-life horrors: Two 13-year-old
boys in Omaha, Neb., were accused of videotaping themselves
assaulting two 5-year-old girls and a 3-year-old boy. In another case, an
8-year-old boy in Buffalo, N.Y., was accused of assaulting a 6-year-old
boy after he saw a prison rape scene in an R-rated movie.
It’s hardly a mystery, though, how kids today “even know
about this.” As Dr. Poland
himself adds, “It’s permeated throughout our society.” How did we become a
nation that no longer provides a protected space of innocence for our children?
Do we really believe we can raise children in a culture that constantly
bombards our kids with garbage, trashes the beauty of human sexuality, feeds
the depths of depravity and then expect our children to be unaffected?
Visions of sexual abuse, perversion and activity are
omnipresent in our society -- and our children are paying the price.
That’s why, in my book Home Invasion, one chapter is
titled “Sexualized Everything.” It’s nearly impossible to escape the
bombardment of sexual images today. TV shows, movies, video games -- indeed,
many of the books deliberately chosen above other titles to fill the shelves of
your local library -- are saturated in sex. Even parents who take reasonable
precautions can’t turn off the sewage completely.
Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that the parents of the
6-year-old mentioned above would never have allowed their son to watch a movie
with a prison rape scene. It’s all too easy for the boy to have watched it
elsewhere -- say, at a friend’s house. And not necessarily on the living room
TV; it could have been on a computer in somebody’s bedroom or basement. For
that matter, with today’s technology, he could have watched it on somebody’s
iPod while riding on the school bus.
Am I the only parent sick and tired of having to raise kids
in such a toxic culture?
Your child’s exposure to the worst of humanity is probably
even worse than you think. If you have access to the Internet and don’t have a
filter, your child has most likely been exposed to hard-core porn. Maybe he or
she is even a regular user. In a study published in February, researchers
at the University
of New Hampshire reported
that 42 percent of Internet users aged 10 to 17 had seen online pornography
over a 12-month period. The London School of Economics estimates that nine out
of 10 children who go online will, at some point, be exposed to hardcore porn.
Of course, most kids who encounter this trash won’t become
sex offenders. But what does the constant exposure do for their understanding
of what constitutes a healthy relationship? If you take a few minutes to check
out familyfacts.org, which catalogs
all the best social-science research, and you will find some troubling findings
about the effects of pornography. One large study summarized on familyfacts.org
finds:
“A relationship between pornography
consumption and believing rape myths exists. Rape myths pertain to erroneous
and potentially harmful ideas regarding rape, for example, that victims of rape
are partially to blame for the crime, rapists should not get tough sentences,
or rape is not a serious crime. This study found that violent pornography
increased the acceptance of rape myths, and nonviolent pornography increased
the acceptance of rape myths when compared to a control group.”
I could cite many similar findings, but the basic finding --
of a clear relationship between pornography use and a variety of social
pathologies -- is beyond dispute. The question is, what can we do to protect
our children?
To be sure, we should take advantage of technology. I use the affordable, easy-to-use filter from BSafe.com
to keep all three of my home computers free from unwanted sexual material, and
we use the blocking features on our cable
television (controlyourtv.org) to keep sexually explicit movies and
programs off of our TV screens.
But the best protection, frankly, is you. One thing comes
through loud and clear as you peruse familyfacts.org, and that’s the importance
of spending time with your children. Talk with them, play with them, worship
with them, eat meals with them. That way, you impart your values and keep the
lines of communication open -- which can make a world of difference in the
event that your children do have an unexpected encounter with the
seamier side of humanity.
Keeping your children safe is a never-ending fight. But it’s
one your child can’t afford for you to lose.