You are rightly dismayed by this situation, but you've phrased
the question curiously, emphasizing your discomfort rather than a
child's well-being. If you are concerned about the daughter, as
you admirably seem to be, you ought not make her life harder,
which firing her mother would certainly do. And rather than
insist that the mother make the daughter drop that wheelbarrow,
you might encourage your sons to invite the daughter to play
soccer with them. Her mother will likely be relieved: Having a
9-year-old "help out" all but guarantees the task will take
longer.
It would be commendable if you could proffer some practical
advice. Presumably this woman brings along her children because
she has no alternative. Does your town offer inexpensive day-care
programs? Are there other social services that might benefit her
three kids? A bit of time on the phone or online might lead you
to something that helps this family and eases your own mind.
UPDATE: The gardener failed to show up a few times, and Jane
"used that as an excuse" to find someone else for the job.
Randy Cohen
Randy Cohen writes "The Ethicist" a weekly column for the New York Times Magazine, syndicated by Universal Press Syndicate in newspapers throughout the U.S. and Canada.
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