Even if all had gone according to plan, your response would
have been wildly disproportionate. I am not a lawyer, but as I
understand the criminal code, we do not put out the eyes of
thieves. Or subject them to hideous facial scarring. Without a
trial. Indeed, we sometimes punish those who react so
ferociously. You might have a legal case against the driver who
rear-ends you, but you go to prison if you shoot him. (Except in
Texas. Or so say the snarky. By which I mean me.)
And if things had not gone according to plan? They seldom do.
Suppose someone had a legitimate reason to open your locker: An
infestation of mice in the barracks? An inconvenient decision to
repaint the lockers while you were away? A little kitty
inexplicably trapped inside? You would have imposed your
grotesque penalty on an innocent party.
It is reasonable to install a mechanism to thwart thieves -- a
burglar alarm, a packet of cash that sprays dye onto a bank
robber or that classic, a stout lock -- but not to harm others in
such a situation.
Randy Cohen
Randy Cohen writes "The Ethicist" a weekly column for the New York Times Magazine, syndicated by Universal Press Syndicate in newspapers throughout the U.S. and Canada.
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