My parents graciously offered to lend my wife and me the down
payment for a home. While we can easily afford the mortgage
payments, the bank wants all of us to sign a statement saying the
money from my parents is a gift, not a loan, although the bank
representative literally winked as he handed me the statement. I
am reluctant to ask my parents to be dishonest, but isn't
everyone better off if this deal goes through? -- M.S.,
Boston
I think everyone is better off if that bank representative
embezzles $100,000 and sends it to me. My joy will spread outward
to delight others like the rays of the sun -- a big, happy,
money-drunk sun. But that would not justify dealing falsely with
the bank, and that's what you propose to do, albeit with its
encouragement. Your obligation to act honestly did not vanish
with a nudge and a wink.
The bank has a legitimate interest in your ability to make
your mortgage payments, something that could be threatened if you
are encumbered with other debts. If that bank representative had
the authority to grant the loan despite your having borrowed from
your parents -- he might see that as a softer, more flexible
obligation than one to a stranger -- he should do so openly. He
should not press you to file false documents. He should not lead
you to believe you're getting a special, shady deal. (And he
should recall that banks have not prospered lately by enticing
home buyers to file misleading applications or take on more debt
than is prudent.) If he did not have the authority, he shouldn't
do so at all -- otherwise, he abets your fraud and deceives his
employer.
There is the possibility that his wink was not an invitation
to deceit but a sign that he found you attractive. The worst you
can say about that is he should do his flirting on his own time,
and that it's insensitive to flirt with you while your wife is
right there in the room.
UPDATE: M.S. asked his parents to sign the statement. They
felt uneasy with the deceit and instead made the money a genuine
gift.
I am a family physician. A patient I'd not seen in months
passed away about an hour after being discharged from an
emergency room. Her mother, also my patient, asked me to review
the records and autopsy to see if she should bring a malpractice
suit against the ER physician and the hospital. I am friends with
the physician and on the hospital's board. Ought I comply with
this request? -- J.R., Connecticut