Sometimes my normally obedient dog, Ornette, escapes our
fenced yard and will not return on command. We open the car door
and tell her excitedly that we will take her for a walk, her
favorite activity, to entice her into the car. Then we put on the
leash and take her home, no walk. Although dogs don't really
understand language in the way that humans do, I'm worried about
the ethical propriety of our misleading ploy. Should I be? --
David Schade, Victoria, British Columbia
I share your skepticism that your dog understands the precise
meaning of "walk" (an assertion some animal lovers will repudiate
-- but, please, no e-mail about how much your dog enjoys "Pride
and Prejudice"). For all you know, when you excitedly say,
"Walk," your dog hears, "I like you!" or "Let's drive home and
watch 'Lassie.'" Yet clearly it is possible to deceive a dog (by
pretending to throw the ball, for example) and in your case,
fortunately so.
What's the alternative? You can't offer even the most
linguistically gifted dog a cogent argument for returning to the
yard. You could bribe her, if you carried meat in your glove
compartment, but bribery, too, raises moral questions. Happily,
what you are doing is innocuous; it is not akin to telling your
kids they're going to Disneyland and then taking them to the
dentist. (Or telling me I'm going to my dentist, a skilled and
eloquent fellow, but instead subjecting me to the nausea and fear
of an amusement park.) But if you remain determined not to fool
her, then give her a firm command -- into the car! -- and make
sure she's trained to obey it, for the benefit of you both.
Alternatively, if you become convinced of your dog's verbal
ability, give her bus fare and tell her to return home when she
likes. Be sure to mention the stop where she gets off so she
doesn't get lost.
Maybe write it down for her.
My wife parked in a public garage and lost her parking ticket.
Had we gone to the cashier without it, we would have paid $24
instead of $12 for the four hours we parked. I found another
ticket on the garage floor. There was no way to identify its
owner. By using it we would pay $4 for an hour's parking. I
suppose the ethical thing would have been to pay the $24. We
didn't. Are we bad people? -- John Travaglini, Seattle