Rachel Marsden

Over the past week, both Hollywood and its Washington political counterpart – Fuglywood, DC – gathered to celebrate themselves by engaging in deep speechifying. The former with the annual Academy Awards, the latter with President Obama’s “State Of Myself” speech to Congress. It’s in the spirit of both of these events that I would like to present you, dear reader, with my list of political Oscar winners for the week:

Best Actor In An Ongoing Dramedy – President Barack Obama: The same person who rammed the trillion dollar Porkulus Magnus down our throats announced during his Congressional address that he wants to now perform a surgical line-item veto on the budget. And education will be free for everyone through college – because at least for now, the Chinese are keeping the American economy afloat through the purchase of treasury bonds, in between political dissident lashings and sips of dead tiger wine. He’s also going to fix health care – apparently without ever explaining to Americans what the very simple, real issue is: the costs of lobbying driving up insurance premiums so they can wine and dine politicians and buy them off on the company’s tab. Why didn’t Obama call on politicians to turn down health care related buyoffs? Further, he claims that he wants to somehow grow industry, while simultaneously taxing every burp of gaseous byproduct.

Best Makeup – Nancy Pelosi: Was she ambushed, before last night’s Obama speech, by the makeup team that made Brad Pitt look like a kid in “The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button”?

Best Cryptic Reference – AR Rahman: Rahman won two Oscars for his music in “Slumdog Millionaire”. In his first acceptance speech, he referred to himself, out of nowhere, as a Tamil. In the second, he explained that he had a choice in life between love and hate – and chose love. Not sure if he meant that he chose to hug rather than slug someone in a bar – or whether he was perhaps referring to Tamil tiger terrorists who have arguably wreaked more destruction than any terrorist group in the name of Tamil nationalism. If so, I’d say Rahman made a wise choice, considering the Tamil Tigers are getting their behinds handed to them by the Sri Lankan government right now.

Lifetime Achievement Award – Sean Penn: No, this award really doesn’t go to Penn, but apparently he accepted it on behalf of the long vilified, late Senator Joe McCarthy when he thanked Hollywood for being rife with “commie, homo-loving sons of guns” during his acceptance speech for the movie, “Milk”.

Rachel Marsden

Rachel Marsden is a columnist with Human Events Magazine, and Editor-In-Chief of GrandCentralPolitical News Syndicate.
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