Or he could talk about his taxes. Is he still in arrears with the IRS?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Or maybe they don't.
Let's face it: Yesterday's race hustler has a way of becoming today's self-promoting bore. See the rise and slow, slow, decades-long fall of Jesse Jackson into televised tedium.
If the Reverend Al turns out to be a flop as a television star, MSNBC can always find someone more fiery waiting in the wings. Louis Farrakhan, perhaps?
Fidel Castro still lives, which means Cuba still languishes. The old caudillo's 85th birthday was reported just the other day, another proof that the good die young.
Bernie Sanders, the only socialist in the U.S. Senate -- well, the only avowed socialist -- has come up with a cure for the blues now haunting Barack Obama's campaign for another term in the White House. What the president needs, says the senator, is an opponent in the Democratic primaries, someone with "a progressive agenda."
Uh huh. The way Teddy Kennedy assured another presidential term for Jimmy Carter by challenging him in 1980. Or how Gene McCarthy's entrance into the presidential race in 1968 got Lyndon Johnson re-elected that year. There is no surer precursor of a president's defeat than a strong challenge in his party's primaries.
But there's no doubt Bernie Saunders knows a lot about politics -- in Vermont.
John Roberts, the chief justice of the United States, has come out against televising arguments before the U.S. Supreme Court because some of the lawyers appearing before it, or justices on it, might play to the cameras. Because they "unfortunately fall into grandstanding with a couple hundred people in the courtroom."
What? Lawyers who grandstand? Shocking.
What next, will fishermen tell lies and politicians engage in demagoguery?
What's this world coming to?
Call this last news item Dollars for Donuts:
"Nicholas Mercurio, Lukas Peterson and Charles Iliffe, all of Hyannis, Mass., face charges of armed robbery after authorities say they entered a Dunkin' Donuts, masked and carrying knives and a hatchet, and made off with a paper bag that they thought held the day's receipts but actually held donuts."
Ah, sweet justice.