A herd of Irish bulls

The term is said to have been inspired by one Sir Boyle Roche, a member of the 18th Century Irish parliament who was given to earnest inanities. For example, there was his response to another member's appeal for some measure because it would benefit posterity. "Why, Mr. Speaker," asked Sir Boyle, "should we do anything for posterity? What has posterity done for us?"

This master of the Irish bull was regularly moved by Ireland's troubles. "The country is overflowing with absentee landlords," he complained, and, what's more, "The cup of Ireland's misfortunes has been overflowing for centuries, and is not full yet."

It's not easy to distinguish between an Irish bull and a figure of speech that's been run through a Mixmaster. Consider this poetic passage from one of Sir Boyle's orations: "All along the untrodden path of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand."

It was also Sir Boyle who interrupted a parliamentary debate with the heartfelt plea: "I believe in reciprocity as much as anyone else, but it shouldn't be on one side."

You don't have to be Irish to commit an Irish bull, but it helps. Mayor Daley I of the grand city of Chicago, where the river runs green every St. Patrick's Day, turned out Irish bulls in abundance, the way he did dead voters every election day.

During the Democrats' riotous convention in Chicago back in 1968, Mayor Daley assured the press that the police weren't there to create disorder but to preserve disorder! Which cleared that up.

Perhaps the most prolific breeder of Irish bulls on these shores was movie mogul Sam Goldwyn, who famously observed that a verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on. Mr. Goldwyn could scarcely open his mouth without putting his foot in it. Among his finer productions: "Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined," and "I'm living beyond my means, but I can afford it."

Don't get me started on the collected works of Yogi Berra and Casey Stengel, both naturals at the art of twisting language into delightful knots.

Arkansas is also well-represented in this competition for the best, meaning the worst, Irish bulls. Though he modestly denied authorship, a former governor of the state-Frank White-is said to have warned that a proposal would open a whole box of Pandoras.

I could go on forever but, in keeping with my subject, I'll just commence right here.