Many pornography-viewing husbands lose their emotional capacity, and this, in turn, causes both husbands and wives to be less interested in the marriage bed. It’s ironic that the thing which is supposed to increase desire actually increases dissatisfaction with a beloved spouse as real people fail to live up to airbrushed fantasies.
When the viewing of pornography rises to the level of addiction, as many as 40 percent of these addicts lose their spouses, and close to 60 percent suffer considerable financial losses. About a third lose their jobs, according to Congressional testimony.
One study of “cybersex”—a form of sexually explicit interaction between two people on the Internet—unearthed an ironic result: more than half had lost interest in marital intercourse, leading to a fourfold increase in procurement of prostitution.
Pornography users increasingly see the institution of marriage as sexually confining, believe less in the importance of marital faithfulness, have increasing doubts about the value of marriage as an essential social institution, and doubt its future viability. How much of our changed debate on marriage results from the increased use of pornography?
Given all this, it is not surprising that addiction to pornography seems to be a major contributor to separation and divorce: In the only study to date of the relationship, 68 percent of the divorces reviewed involved one party meeting a new paramour over the Internet, 56 percent involved “one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites,” 47 percent involved “spending excessive time on the computer,” and 33 percent involved spending excessive time in chat rooms (a commonly sexualized forum). This particular study is far from satisfactory, but it flags a potent threat to social stability.
Conservatives were alarmed when David W. Ogden was appointed Deputy Attorney General given his career as an advocate on behalf of the pornography industry. What better way for him to clear his reputation as a legal advocate for pornography then to advance greater protections for children from this terrible scourge, though it’s unlikely. Ogden was among those who fought Attorney General Ed Meese when he attempted to craft protections for children against pornography and its social poisons. He even opposed filters on public library computers where children are vulnerable.
But given the high costs to women and children when families fall apart, perhaps the American Bar Association and its cadres of divorce lawyers may find that class action suits are advised against pornographers on behalf of those who have been abandoned. There is serious cash on the table. It is estimated that $97 billion was made in 2006 alone by the porn industry, with the United States serving as home to the biggest producers. A lawsuit for damages to the family could rival anything big tobacco every generated.
It is also time for the National Institute of Mental Health to study further the problems of pornography and its social fallout. Sexual addictions, violent crimes, self-destructive behaviors, family break down and financial ruin are only a few of the problems associated with excessive pornographic consumption.
The Holidays may seem a strange time to some to release such a study. But for those of us who hope that strong families are gathering together at this time of year, it’s time to confront a quiet family killer.