Oliver North

WASHINGTON -- In 1982, Robin Williams and Glenn Close starred in a quirky R-rated movie entitled "The World According to Garp." The offbeat comedy -- honest, that's what Tinseltown critics called it -- was loosely based on John Irving's dark novel with the same title. Those who missed the humor in the book and film now have a chance for some real belly laughs. Next week the Big Apple will host another gut buster -- "The World According to UNGA." If it were a flick, it would be a dark and depressing documentary combining the conspiratorial rantings of Oliver Stone, the eerie horror of Alfred Hitchcock and the antics of a Looney Tunes cartoon.

But it's not a movie or an off-Broadway show. And it isn't a television program that will simply go away with the press of a button on your remote. Instead, it's an annual extravaganza which We the People have subsidized with billions of our tax dollars for six decades. It could be called -- with apologies to Barnum & Bailey -- the Most Ridiculous Show on Earth. But next week it will be called UNGA -- short for the United Nations General Assembly.

This year's UNGA circus has new ringleader -- Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon. Ban is the newest member of an all-male pantheon of propriety that includes the irrepressibly anti-American Kofi Annan, who presided over the graft and corruption of the U.N.'s Oil for Food program to fill Saddam Hussein's coffers with cash. The UNGA Hall of Fame also includes luminaries such as Boutros Boutros-Ghali -- a man nice enough to have two first names but too inept to call the murder of a million Rwandans what it was: genocide. And then there's Kurt Waldheim -- the two-term U.N. Secretary-General who falsified his resume by omitting to mention his knowledge of war crimes committed by Hitler's henchmen in the Balkans during World War II. That's all part of the World According to UNGA.

In the World According to UNGA, Libya -- long listed as a state sponsor of terrorism -- is put in charge of the Human Rights Commission, now "reformed" into the Human Rights Council.

In the World According to UNGA, the only bad nuclear weapons are those possessed by the Great Satan and the Little Satan -- otherwise known as the Americans and the Jews -- and Iran, racing to build nuclear weapons so it can wipe Israel off the map, is put in a leadership position at the U.N .Disarmament Commission.

In the World According to UNGA, North Korea -- whose government has given new definition to the phrase repressive malnourishment -- is named to the executive board of UNICEF, whose mission is, in part, to feed hungry children.


Oliver North

Oliver North is a nationally syndicated columnist, the host of War Stories on the Fox News Channel, the author of the new novel Heroes Proved and the co-founder of Freedom Alliance, an organization that provides college scholarships to the children of U.S. military personnel killed or permanently disabled in the line of duty. Join Oliver North in Israel by going to www.olivernorthisrael.com.