Neal Boortz

School is out for the summer.  I know it?s so, because the malls are full of slouching teenaged boys doing their best imitations of brook trout while stalking teenaged flat-bellies dressed like hookers with tail-bone tattoos and jewelry hanging off their ears, eyebrows, noses, navels and God knows what else. 

I guess that in a way we should be breathing a sigh of relief.  For 75 days or so our kids have escaped the clutches of that bureaucratic government-employee union operated system of quasi-instructional gulags we sometimes erroneously refer to as ?public schools.?  They?re not ?public schools,? you see;  they?re GOVERNMENT schools.

Can someone please explain to this clueless radio talk show host just why so many Americans are not only willing, but apparently anxious to turn over what is supposed to be the most precious things in their lives, their children, to the government to be educated?  Sorry.  I don?t get it!  You parents can spend an entire evening drinking cheap wine, and no matter how high the blood-alcohol level rises, you can?t come up with the name of one single task that government performs better or more efficiently than the private sector.  Plunder comes to mind, but when you consult the history books you find out that Genghis Kahn still holds most of the world records in plunder, and he was a private operation --- with quite a bit of outsourcing.

I know this is dreaming, and I know that government school administrators are going to be spending quite a lot of time during the summer conjuring up new ways to tax and spend, but is there any chance at all that some of them could give some thought to fixing this idiotic ?zero-tolerance? thing they?re all so proud of?

Neal Boortz

Neal Boortz, retired after 42 years in talk radio, shares his memoirs in the hilarious book “Maybe I Should Just Shut Up and Go Away” Now available in print and as an eBook from and