What is it going to take? What do I have to do to get your attention in order to be named one of your “Worst Persons In The World” on your nightly MSNBC show?
Week after week, I hear about one of my friends and colleagues being named on your list, which could be more aptly called, “The Latest Conservative I Hate” list. I see that you’ve had so much “success” that the programming wizards at NBC are now featuring you on Sunday Night Football. Evidently it’s not enough that you smirk your way through smearing a bunch of decent conservatives every night, now you’re in demand to do the same to various people in the NFL.
Good for you. We all know the importance of additional face time on the mighty TV.
So seriously, what do I have to do to make your list? At this point, I’d even take runner-up. Because I’m starting to get awfully jealous of seeing so many people I like and respect receiving your wrath.
I know it’ll be tempting for you to dismiss me as not having a big enough radio audience or being relevant or famous enough. I certainly don’t have the clout or fame of folks like Limbaugh, Hannity or O’Reilly.
But just this week, Talkers Magazine once again reported that I have the sixth most listened-to talk radio show in America. Radio and Records named me one of America’s News/Talk “All-Stars” this year. I hosted the morning show on WABC-AM in New York for a couple of years before I went into national syndication. Perhaps you’ve seen me on that all-news channel you so despise, the #1 rated Fox News Channel, where I’m a Fox News contributor and guest host. And of course, there’s this regular column that I’m proud to write here at Townhall.com.
So while I might not be as well-known as many of your targets, I’m not exactly a slouch, either. After all, my first talk radio job was in 1978 and I’m still here. Unlike personalities who became “pundits” after a career of reading sports scores on ESPN or spinning records on a local radio station, talk radio is pretty much all I’ve been doing for the last 29 years. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I’m good at it.
And I’d just love to know what it takes to make your list.
Perhaps I can give it my best shot here. Your creepy Edward R. Murrow impersonation at the end of every broadcast causes a viewer to alternate between mortification and pity. When you start attacking an American-loving, patriotic individual who happens to be to the right, your flaring nostrils and angry baritone remind me of a demented 19-year old broadcasting school student who is attempting to keep from failing the class. Your repeated personal attacks against President Bush are reminiscent of that Glenn Close character in “Fatal Attraction” who boiled her ex-lover’s rabbit on the kitchen stove. And your belief that regularly attacking the prime time stars of Fox News Channel in the hopes of increasing your ratings on MSNBC is as transparent as your little granny glasses perched on your pointy little nose. Besides, I keep watching the cable news ratings at TVNewser.com and you just can’t seem to even come close to beating them. Ever.
One might wonder why I’d want to be called the worst of anything. But I truly long to be called out by you on “Meltdown with Keith Olbermann.” Because just like you can’t quite figure out how to beat Bill O’Reilly, you evidently have no idea how much joy and satisfaction you bring to everyone you slander.
Believe me, considering the company I’d be in, being called “The Worst Person In The World” by Keith Olbermann would be one impressive badge of honor.
Please think about it, okay?
Thanks for your consideration.
Salem Radio Network