Mike Gallagher

I strongly believe that if I’m going to be able to participate in a dialogue about a controversial book, tv show, or movie, I should actually read the book or watch the show so I actually know what I’m talking about.

I’ve now suffered through no less than three Michael Moore films. I cringed as “Bowling for Columbine” showcased the portly filmmaker’s attack on the Second Amendment. I shook my head in disgust as “Fahrenheit 911” smeared the American soldier by portraying him as a mindless killing machine, too stupid to keep from serving his country.

But for “Sicko”, Moore’s supposed expose’ of the U.S. health care system, well, it was all I could do to keep from falling asleep.

In fact, my wife informs me that for a couple of minutes I actually did nod off (much to her chagrin).

Allow me to sum up this alleged “masterpiece” of documentary filmmaking with a few words to describe it: Dry. Slow. Humorless. Whiny. Condescending. Propaganda. Inane. Tedious. Sophomoric. Dumb.

This is one really awful movie.

I’m a pretty easy moviegoer. It really doesn’t take a lot to keep me entertained. And I’ve been intrigued by the theme generated by Moore’s “Sicko” that Democrats and Republicans can come together on this one, that universal health care is something we should all embrace with open arms.

So I went into the movie theatre with my box of popcorn prepared to at least be stimulated somewhat by the muckraking Moore, at least enough to get a rise out of me like his other two pieces of garbage did.

No such luck. This movie isn’t so much about our health care practices as it is a love letter to the wonderful cultures and customs of Great Britain, France and -- I’m not kidding -- Cuba.

Just like he exploited Columbine shooting victims and military recruiters in his other films, Moore somehow finds it compelling to herd a bunch of sick people on a couple of boats and go from Miami to Guantanamo Bay to try and get medical treatment. His infantile point: if terrorists can get universal health care for free, why not a bunch of sick 9/11 rescue workers?

I’m sure the Weinsteins gave him a big budget and all, but really, Michael, you didn’t need to charter boats. Taking buses to the nearest federal prison would have given you the same outcome.

This is a man so totally enamored with the concept of universal health care that he literally puts Hillary up on the screen and describes her as “smart” and “sexy.”

Hillary Clinton, sex symbol. Maybe the critics who called “Sicko” wildly funny were right.

Mike Gallagher

Mike Gallagher is a nationally syndicated radio host, Fox News Channel contributor and guest host and author of 50 Things Liberals Love to Hate.