“Clearly you have a right to pick and choose who you want to live with," said an attorney for the ACLU I spoke with on Friday. "Heathens shouldn't live in fear of being punished by the government for being Heathens. It is completely absurd to try to penalize a single Heathen man for privately seeking a Heathen roommate at a bar - an obviously legal and constitutionally protected activity." I sincerely hope there will be no complaint when I take out an ad in some of my favorite bars in Grand Rapids. And I hope no one will contact the local fair housing organization. My ad will include the words, "Heathen roommate wanted," along with my contact information. I believe that as a prospective occupant (who owns no rental property) my ad can include the word "Heathen” and still remain legal. Joel Oster said he hopes the case will eventually be dropped and that he's sent a letter to the State of Michigan asking the authorities to dismiss the case as groundless. According to Fox News, he also said,
"The First Amendment guarantees us Freedom of Religion. And we have the right to live with someone of the same faith. The Michigan Department of Civil Rights is denying her rights by pursuing this complaint."
I agree with Oster, not just as a matter of general principle but because I generally love promiscuous heathen women. And I am profoundly disappointed that Director Haynes said that officials plan on pursuing the matter.
You can’t make me live with a virgin Christian any more than you can make me live with a homosexual Buddhist. I hope you’ll reconsider your decision. And I’ll sue you if you don’t.
Note to Neal Boortz: You have just finished reading a social satire - assuming you had time to read this far down. I sincerely hope you understood what you read.