Nor will the Women’s Resource Center be able to object on the basis of the illegality of my conduct. In March, they displayed pictures of nude children in Randall Library. People raised legal objections to the public display of pictures showing the breasts and pubic hair of these children. The feminist rebuttal was a simple First Amendment claim. Now, I’m claiming a right under the constitution to terminate life by removing brain matter.
Finally, there will be objections that the blood of these cats will create some sort of health hazard. I’ve got that one covered, too. I debated a Ph.D student from UCLA on Fox News once in relation to a similar issue. His Professor of Theater was HIV positive and cut himself on stage so that his infected blood spilled out in front of the audience. He also relied on the First Amendment to defend his dramatic (literally) demonstration. We don’t have to worry about HIV positive cats. Once again, I am claiming a constitutional right to terminate life by removing brain matter.
After this little demonstration is over I will use the two clipboards, two pencils, and paper to create two sign up sheets. One will be used to sign students up for the student PETA chapter at UNC-Wilmington. The other will be used to sign students up for the student pro-life chapter at UNC-Wilmington. It will be very interesting to see which organization gains the most members in response to the demonstration.
The Black Student Union might even want to recruit students at this event. After all, the one black cat is a symbol of the fact that 1/3 of those aborted in America are black. This is despite the fact that blacks are only 1/8 of the total population.
Finally, I will use the water hose and three plastic garbage bags to clean up any mess I might have made. I hope there will be no lasting trauma following my demonstration. After all, they are only cats. It’s isn’t like they’re human beings.