4. Five years ago the administration chipped in $60,000 to help bring Ludacris to campus. He sang a lot about hos. Shouldn’t we be forcing the administration to attend mandatory sexual harassment training not the other way around? Is there a short bus that drops these intellectually challenged administrators off at work every day? Certainly, we don’t let these people drive themselves to work.
5. Let’s say a black professor complains about racism so often that we just let him fornicate with his white students in order to get him to shut up. Is this an example of sexual harassment against women? Or racial harassment against white professors? Just curious.
6. When a female student wears a top that fully exposes her nipples, has she sexually harassed the men in her class? What if they like it? Does that mean only the gay men are sexually harassed? How about the lesbians?
7. What if a feminist professor comes walking up to me in the hall and touches (actually rubs) the lapel of my blazer, looks into my eyes and comments on the softness of the fabric. Does that mean I can rub her blouse without her permission? If so, just how close can my hand get to her breast?
8. What if I get erectile dysfunction after a feminist rubs my lapel. Can I sue for damages?
9. What happens when a gay pride group steals my rainbow – an important Old Testament religious symbol, of course – and converts it to a symbol of approval of acts specifically prohibited by the Old Testament? Is that religious harassment? Or homosexual harassment?
10. Finally, I’ll have something to say about the Professor of Psychology who recently told members of his psychology class that I referred to the Chancellor as a “whore” in one of my columns. That is a lie. But, of course, it doesn’t matter since the university pays for speech that characterizes women as “hos.” But I suspect that many psychologists would tell us that making up a story like that is a form of projection. So maybe the psychology professor subconsciously thinks his boss is a whore. That leads to my final question: Can subconscious misogynistic thoughts be sexually harassing?
Of course, all of those hippies who were protestors in the 1960s have to be excited about my plan to shake things up at UNCW by speaking truth to power. But, unfortunately, many of them have married feminists who won’t let them join an organization like F.A.S.H.I.S.T. For the record, they are the ones I call “whores.”