5. Shortly before the news of the pending loan default Boseman’s former lesbian lover was called into a meeting with the UNC-Wilmington Athletic Director. The AD wanted to discuss Boseman’s ex-lover’s perennial losing record as softball coach at UNCW. The conversation took place just yards away from “Boseman Field” - the softball field at UNCW. Boseman’s lover resigned a couple of weeks after the meeting. It is unclear whether the next softball coach will form the opinion that sleeping with major UNCW donors enhances one’s job security to a greater extent than actually winning softball games.
These are all legitimate issues for Barack Obama to consider if he expects to win in November. But the critics of an Obama – Boseman ticket must realize that there are a number of reasons why Julia Boseman could enhance the Democratic ticket this fall. I’ve listed a few of them below:
1. Boseman would appeal to rednecks – ones who cling to their NASCAR like they cling to their guns and religion.
2. Boseman would appeal to dope smoking hippies who might otherwise vote for Ralph Nader.
3. Boseman could help people come up with new and creative ways to get out of mortgages when they get in over their heads.
4. Dead beat dads don’t want a woman in the White House unless she understands their side of the story.
5. Boseman - in addition to being hell on the softball field – is reputed to be a damned fine bowler.
Republicans must know that it would be hard to beat a ticket with a black man, a woman, and a lesbian. And my lawyers must know it will be tough to beat Julia Boseman’s next threat of a defamation suit. All I have to my name is a few guns, a couple of NASCAR tickets, and a couple of fat ones my friends got in Miami.
If you’ll settle out of court, Julia, I’ll let you keep the change. I’m afraid change is all you can hope for.