Finally, I’ll go to the next all black faculty meeting and introduce myself to black faculty saying “I thank God that none of you are white. This segregation thing has been a terrible embarrassment to my great race. But you people go right ahead.”
Then, after I’m done apologizing for all the dumb things white people do, I’ll spend the rest of the afternoon at the tanning bed.
But, of course, this business of trying to walk out on the white race is surely not the white thing to do (Oops! I mean the right thing to do). Instead of having enlightened “liberals” - like the skinny white boy’s professor - leave the white race we could declare certain whites to be “in-authentically white.” Let me explain.
For years on our campuses, blacks who do not agree with affirmative action – or any other mainstream “liberal” policies – have been labeled “in-authentically black.” By dubbing blacks “in-authentic” for other reasons - being too educated, too grammatically correct, or too family-oriented – “liberals” have half-succeeded in fulfilling their dream of white supremacy in the name of “diversity” and “tolerance.”
Now, by purging the white race of all of those who do not live up to the “liberal” ideals of white moral superiority, we can create a truly enlightened master race. Sound confusing and ridiculous? Welcome to UNCW (The University of Non-Caucasian Wannabes).
People at the Office of Campus Diversity tell me I need to learn to be more tolerant – especially of white “liberals” with a superior vision of the way things ought to be. But I just can’t tolerate white supremacy. I could tolerate a black supremacist. But I expect so much more from white people.