Mike Adams
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The North Carolina NAACP has been a nearly useless organization for years – ever since the demise of the KKK and racial segregation. Today, the only remnants of racial segregation in North Carolina come in the form of diversity initiatives in the UNC system. And the killing of black innocents is usually done by people in white lab coats – all in the name of a new civil right called “choice.”

But, make no mistake about it; the NAACP misses the days when white people really were doing a lot of harm to black people. This is because the organization needs to extort money from non-racist white people to survive. And, clearly, non-racist white people have more money than black people despite the fact that the government launched a war on poverty during the 1960s. The professors I work with are planning to protest the war as well as the government’s occupation of substandard housing projects just as soon as they can find a link to the Bush administration.

But, for the time being, the NAACP is giving the state of North Carolina two options related to a race riot that took place in Wilmington the century before the previous century – 1898, to be exact: 1. The State can grant reparations to blacks, or 2. The State can defend itself in a lawsuit brought by the NAACP.

I first heard about this notion of reparations for the 1898 Race Riots from a black professor at UNC-Wilmington. He said I owed him money and I could just give him my credit card for compensation. But I wasn’t able to give him my credit card the one and only time I saw him in public because he was drunk as hell and slobbering all over a couple of white girls. For the record, I don’t think I should be giving him my credit card if he’s going to engage in racial discrimination by slobbering exclusively on white girls. Black girls need love, too (and, perhaps, reparations if they don’t get it from an obvious beneficiary of my university’s commitment to affirmative action).

Unfortunately, not everyone is laughing at the notion of reparations for a race riot that happened the century before the century before this one – one that killed about a dozen people. In fact, hundreds of people attended the NAACP's 64th annual convention in Wilmington – most of them supporting the government’s right to take money from people who have never actually won a race riot and give it to those who have never actually lost a race riot.

According to the local Wilmington McTimes, one member of the NAACP said “We're going to take you to court North Carolina.” And, sadly, national NAACP board members are actually discussing how to advance recommendations made by the state-appointed 1898 Wilmington Race Riot Commission.

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Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.