I don't have any patience, tolerance, or open-mindedness when it comes to certain things. And one of those things is a damned liar. That's why I could never work as a UNCW student newspaper editor or as an assistant to my boss, Chancellor Rosemary DePaolo.
One could almost believe that a college student newspaper editor would be dumb enough to libel a national columnist, even though his student paper only has a circulation of 4000. But there's really no excuse for the constant flow of malicious and false information that comes out of DePaolo's office. After all, she's old enough to know better.
Recently, I caught wind that the DePaolo administration was attempting to besmirch my reputation when the following was forwarded to me (it was a response to someone who was flaming – and I mean FLAMING! - mad over my now-infamous "How to Bomb a Gay Bath House" column):
The statements made by Dr. Adams in the Townhall column, - whether or not they are satire as he often claims - are deplorable. His statements are definitely not those of the University of North Carolina Wilmington. The first amendment protects not only Dr. Adams' right to free expression, but it protects yours as well. Therefore, you are encouraged to express your opinion by directly contacting Townhall.com, Adams_Mike [at]hotmail.com or www.DrAdams.org.
At first, I had to digest the illogic of the "it’s-offensive-if-he-meant-it-and-offensive-if-he-meant-the-opposite" remark. Then it occurred to me that the author of the response was suggesting that I sometimes "claim" to be using satire when I am not. I wondered whether the DePaolo administration could really be under the impression that I was a closet bath house bomber. So, naturally, I picked up the phone and gave them a call.
When the author of the above missive – actually it is probably safer to call it a Ms.ive – answered the phone, I took the Don Henley approach and went directly to the heart of the matter. I ask her whether she had issued the short statement without reading all five of the columns in the series on Julio Pino. Naturally, she did not know who Julio Pino was and, eventually, she admitted to reading only one of the five columns before issuing the short statement on behalf of the university.
I then tried to slowly explain that the series was not about gays but, instead, about the fifth column. But she didn’t understand that when I write a series on the fifth column you aren't supposed to ignore the first, second, third, and fourth column. This is especially true during a time of war.