Before long, the executives of Diversity Incorporated – the people who really run this country – will again let us use the term “faggot.” The switch will be necessary because a) Diversity Incorporated makes all of its money on diversity training classes (read: shakedown seminars) in corporate America, and b) these classes are nothing more than a recitation of currently banned words and ideas. (Hence the need to constantly update the list even if it means regressing and calling it “progress”.)
Perhaps the most compelling reason for Ann to refrain from issuing an apology is that it might send the message that homosexuality is somehow “wrong.” Those saying that the implication that Edwards is a homosexual is “defamatory” are suggesting that homosexuality is “bad.” This flies in the face of the teachings of the official religion of the Diversity Movement, which is, of course, moral relativism.
Every time I get into a discussion about homosexuality I am accused of being “secretly gay.” When the accuser is strait, he shows how much he secretly hates homosexuals. When the accuser is gay, he shows how much he secretly hates himself. Ann should not mimic this hatred by apologizing for something Leftists do regularly and unapologetically.
But enough about what Ann ought not to do. Here’s what she should do immediately:
1. Start a website called “Global War on Fags” today.
2. Begin writing essays calling for the cleansing and purification of society via the mass murder of homosexuals.
3. Distribute videos on the website showing the actual murders of homosexuals.
4. Circulate instructions on how to bomb gay bath houses in San Francisco.
5. Circulate a “battle dispatch” to give people specific information on America’s most notorious bath houses.
6. Apply for a job at Kent State University.
At first, the cries for Ann Coulter’s imprisonment will be loud. But once Kent State gets wind of the story (and possession of her job application) a happy ending will soon be in sight (not incite). In fact, I predict that Ann will soon be a professor at Kent State University with good retirement benefits, a health plan, and tenure.
The current Coulter controversy provides more than a good job opportunity for Ann Coulter. It gives Kent State a chance to show its dedication to the First Amendment, not just Muslim extremism.