Mike Adams

So, perhaps, it is no longer advisable to ask the diversity nabobs to inform us of their most recent postmodern definition of racism simply because they are, yet again, making spurious allegations. Perhaps, instead, it is time for those of us who are tired of the diversity movement (that includes those tired of paying for it with hard-earned tax dollars) to come up with our own definition of racism.

Today, in my capacity as a candidate for the Office of President of the United States of America, I am proud to offer a new definition of racism. It follows here in all its simplicity:

Racism – is a pathological tendency to interject race into situations where it is not relevant, merely for personal gain.

And, of course, a racist can be defined as follows:

Racist – one who interjects race into situations where it is not relevant, merely for personal gain.

Under my new definition of racism, David Duke is still a racist but George Bush isn’t. And Bill Clinton is no longer our first black president. He’s our first racist president. And I’ll be damned if Hillary Clinton will be our second.

When I become President of the United States, I pledge to work hard every day to see that racists like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton get what they deserve; a very small but well-deserved federal unemployment check.

As your 44th President, I will also pledge to ignore racists rather than to spend all my time fighting racism. I have more important things to do like making the Fair Tax a reality and bombing Iran (in no particular order).

I realize that my strong language may turn off a few voters but that’s okay. If you don’t get the logic of my argument I really don’t want your support. In fact, you’re probably just a racist. I suggest you vote for the other candidate.

Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.