Mike Adams

White students participating in Ethnicity Day don’t have to worry about getting in trouble for lying about race simply for their own personal gain. After all, they learned to do that from UNCW administrators who seek career advancement by telling lies about improving diversity without actually improving diversity. If that accusation seems harsh, just check out the website.

UNCW Ethnicity Day will also have some unforeseen benefits for Black students. Recently, numerous Black students began pressuring SGA Officer Candidates to promise to fight for more minority scholarships on campus instead of fighting for more merit scholarships. These students want to be judged by the color of their skin, not the content of their character.

After Ethnicity Day, there will be no need to worry about the “under-representation” of Blacks on campus. Almost everyone will be pretending to be Black after Ethnicity Day. And just pretending is good enough for an administration that specializes in make-believe diversity.

Nonetheless, I want to keep the minority scholarships after Ethnicity Day, even if every UNCW student decides to re-register as Black. Then, we will simply distribute the scholarship money at random. That makes sense – philosophically speaking - in light of North Carolina’s adoption of an educational lottery. I propose calling the minority scholarships “Junior King Luther Martin Scholarships” to reflect the university’s backward thinking on racial issues.

Of course, the greatest benefit of UNCW Ethnicity Day is that the sudden rise in the Black student population will help us get rid of Chancellor Rosemary DePaolo. By making her a national leader in make-believe diversity – and that makes sense in an age of make-believe racism – we can ship her off to a more prestigious university. I hear that Harvard has an opening for candidates with an innate weakness in math and science.

Sure, my idea for Ethnicity Day is controversial (thanks again, Ward Churchill!). In fact, few of you can probably believe I had the guts to write this column. But, there’s no need to worry. I can say anything about diversity because I’ll soon be Black. Before you know it, they’ll put me on the website.

Dr. Adams will speak at UNC-Charlotte on March 28th. The speech will take place at 7:00 PM in Woodward Hall (Room 120). He will speak at the University of New Hampshire on April 18th. Details to follow.

Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.