I had planned to put an end to this series with Part VI but, unfortunately, the feminists never take a day off from their antics. Of course, this keeps me in the business of documenting those antics in my column in a brazen attempt to capitalize (read: profit financially) off of feminist extremism.

Along those lines, I got a letter yesterday from a feminist saying that my publication of a six-part series on feminists proves conclusively that I do, in fact, take them seriously. That leads me to another point about feminists.

24. Feminists frequently confuse positive and inverse correlations.

This idea that the more one ridicules a group, the more one takes it seriously provides an example of the frequent inability of feminists to spot the direction a given relationship takes. Here are some other examples:

*The number of abortions a woman has is positively correlated with her personal happiness.

*The number of sex partners a woman has is positively correlated with her self-esteem.

Sexual freedom and reproductive choice are, in fact, related to happiness and self-esteem. But the feminists have the relationships backwards. That’s why the key to raising a happy daughter is to focus on two things: 1) have her watch everything feminists do, and 2) tell her to do the exact opposite.

25. Feminists are among the cruelest and most heartless members of our society.

One Grinnell College feminist wrote the following to me just two days ago:

“There is only one … thing that I want to say, and it’s concerning abortion rights. You said that the penis in the bucket (lovely imagery, by the way) is a man’s penis. But whose penis was it when it was inside the woman, was it a man’s penis then? Was the male baby on his own, supporting himself, giving himself life? No, he wasn’t, biologically, a baby is a parasite. As a learned person, you ought to know this: a baby, in his or her mother’s womb is a parasite. Thus, the woman has a right to do with it as she pleases, much as her finger or her leg; she is physically giving it life, and thus she has control over it.”

There you have it, readers. I see a baby yawning, rolling around, and rubbing its eyes in its mother’s womb and I see a miracle. I see an act of the Almighty God – the only One capable of giving life. The Grinnell feminist sees a parasite. This kind of heartless stupidity requires even less elaboration than the Grinnell College Masturbation workshop.

26. Feminists often see critical thinking (and logic overall) as a “male thing.”