Mike Adams

3. A feminist in my department filed a false claim of harassment against her boss. Then she falsely accused him of a felony. The university did not declare those acts to be examples of harassment. When I pointed out the injustice of not punishing a false harassment claim, the fibbing feminist said I was then sexually harassing her (by talking about her false claims outside of the workplace). I swear I?m not making this up.

Aside from the real cases, we can also imagine some interesting hypothetical cases that may come to pass under the new policy (which reads more like a N.O.W. policy). For example, consider the fact that some UNCW feminists are now encouraging the use of the word c**t as a term of endearment. That?s okay if the person using the c-word is a feminist. But what if some silly man thinks he can also use the term?

Will that be sexual harassment? Will it create a hostile environment if he simply follows the advice of these fickle feminists?

This whole emphasis on preventing a ?hostile environment? is simply the latest political ploy by the intolerant and power-hungry feminists that have recently infiltrated the UNC-Wilmington administration. Fortunately (for you), most of these feminists are too emotionally involved in this issue to cause as much harm as they intend to cause. And, fortunately, most of them are not very bright.

So what shall we do about this troubling new policy? As you might imagine, I believe I have a plan.

At a university diversity workshop, I once learned that some people can change sexual orientations several times during a lifetime. In fact, one transvestite said that he was a she three times a week and she was a he twice a week. I don?t know what she/he did about weekends.

Therefore, I want you to become gay for just a little while. This can be accomplished by simply telling yourself that you feel gay. You might also want to tell one other person, just for safe measure.

After you become gay (temporarily), I will send you an email (over the university system) with Leviticus 18:22 attached to the signature. You can then forward it to the administration just before you file a ?hostile environment? complaint against me on the basis of your new sexual orientation.

Next, I will file a complaint against you, which says that you also created a hostile environment for me on the basis of religion (simply by filing your complaint). I predict that the leftists in the administration will ignore my complaint and call a hearing to judge the merits of yours. At that point, the university will be guilty of religious discrimination for playing favorites.

After I contact my legal network and file a lawsuit against UNC-Wilmington in federal court, you may safely resume your life as a white male (and most notably) heterosexual Christian Republican gun owner. And don?t worry about being accused of filing a frivolous complaint. The university probably allows gay people to do that. They certainly don?t mind when feminists file false complaints.

I guess what I?m really trying to say is not to worry. This administration is even more arrogant and Orwellian than ever. I think this year is going to be a lot of fun.

Mike S. Adams (www.DrAdams.org) buys most of his cigars directly from www.BrookelynnCigars.com, which is based in Wilmington, NC. That really has nothing to do with the present column.

Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.