Mike Adams
Well, I suppose it had to happen. With all the pie-throwing at conservative speakers these days, I guess I was overdue for an episode of intensely cerebral and well-thought-out liberal protest during one of my campus speeches. That?s what you would expect from people with complicated and ?nuanced? positions on all the important issues of the day. It finally happened last week at Monmouth College in Monmouth, Illinois.

Unlike Kristol, Buchanan, Horowitz, and Coulter, I had no objects hurled in my direction. Maybe the liberals know I have a concealed weapons permit and a .357 magnum, which I may or may not be carrying at any given moment. I guess you could say I have two bodyguards whose names are Smith and Wesson. And maybe that?s why Professor Farhat Haq decided to shout me down from the back of the auditorium instead of hurling a key lime from the front row.

Fortunately for me, Professor Farhat Haq (sounds like Far-left Crock) was sitting near a digital tape recorder when she launched into her tirade. I had the tape transcribed by a seasoned professional (read: fellow member of the vast right-wing conspiracy). The transcript does not adequately capture the shouting and singing (yes, singing) of Dr. Haq as she tried to disrupt an otherwise calm event. Nor does it capture the image of her shaking like a blind transvestite at a weenie roast as she waved a prepared statement in front of a stunned audience.

Nonetheless, the transcript is good for a laugh-something sorely missing on college campuses today. Here?s what professor Haq (also pronounced ?hack?) had to say:

Adams: (following applause) Thank you. Does anyone have any questions?

Haq: I would like to?say a couple of things. I am a new American which means I?ve been a citizen of this country since I was 19 years old and therefore I hold citizenship and the constitution very dear, and given that, I also like you think we need to protect the constitution? and having said that it seems to me that what you have done is really created a lot of demons out there and you have done it in a way that is?.confusing. It?s not very clear? so you start by telling this story about being a lot of ?.and finding that they?re only looking for?minorities or whatever, we ought to be a little more precise, in our discussions as citizens of this country?.an exchange of ideas, in the marketplace of ideas I think that requires a little bit more sort of?minority faculties.

Audience member: (WHAT?S THE QUESTION?)

Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.