Mike Adams
Good morning students! Welcome to our ?senior seminar for college-bound students? at Springfield High School. My name is Dr. Obvious. I taught at ASU (Any State University) for thirty years until my recent retirement. I am pleased to accept a position teaching young students everything they need to know before they attend college. For most of you, that will be some time within the next year.

Springfield High designed this course as a way of preparing next year?s freshmen to function in college. I have decided to take a slightly different approach. I intend to teach you things you will never learn in college due to the excesses of the political correctness movement. All of the things I will teach you either, a) have important implications for public policy, or b) have immediate application to your everyday lives. Some examples follow:

*Social Security is a failed experiment in socialism. It was implemented by an American President who handed over Eastern Europe to Stalin while he was seated just five feet away from a Soviet spy who worked in the U.S. State Department. Social(ism) Security (SS) is one of the principal ways that liberals keep the black man down. Because the average black man dies within months of getting full SS (not to be confused with Nazi) benefits, he has nothing to pass on to his children. This keeps blacks from attaining wealth, which in turn keeps them from getting the same health benefits as the wealthy. That is one reason why they don?t live as long as whites. You will never hear the above statements because, while in college, you are not allowed to use the terms ?them? and ?they? when referring to blacks.

*Gay Democrats do not favor Social Security reform because they have little interest in the issue. They are less likely to have children. They also have a shorter life span due to their risky lifestyle. If anyone tries to teach you this at UNLV, the gay thought police will launch a secret investigation at taxpayer expense. At UNLV, you can pick up a hooker (and shorten your lifespan) but you can?t state the obvious about the consequences of sexual immorality.

Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.