Mike Adams

What really upsets me is that your children will not be attending our fine university. With the help of your genes, both of your kids promise to be intellectual giants. Your assertion that I would have burned Michelangelo at the stake if he were still alive was evidence of your powerful logical ability. Everyone I have ever known who opposed the use of firearms in the classroom also harbored a secret desire to burn famous artists at the stake. There is no leap of logic in your message, whatsoever.

In order to undo the damage I may have done (and, hopefully, to lure your genius children to my university) I wish to offer a formal apology. But that isn?t all. I am going to back up my words with actions by refusing to judge my students at all. For example, I am going to stop grading my students and just give everyone an ?A? at the beginning of the semester. I am even going to allow students to use firearms during class speeches and presentations. My students will not be limited to pointing the firearms at themselves. I will also let them point them at others. UCLA has nothing on me!

Put simply, I plan to conform to the culture of higher education by refusing to make any moral judgments whatsoever. I will no longer demand that the UCLA student be expelled for his recent ?artistic performance.? I will also tear up my next article on the theft of cadavers from the UCLA medical school. If people like to steal dead bodies to sell on the black market then I say ?more power to them!? Give me diversity or give me death!

It really is liberating to reject the notion of absolute standards absolutely. I think I?ll celebrate by driving home on the left hand side of the road. You should do the same, Roger. A few people may die, but at least you?ll be making an artistic statement. That?s all that really matters.

Mike S. Adams will speak in Asheville, NC, on February 11th (http://www.buncombegop.org/lincoln.html). He will speak in Washington, D.C., on February 19th (http://www.cpac.org/speakers.asp). He will then risk his life by speaking at the University of Wisconsin School of Law on March 1st. Nonetheless, he will not carry a gun on campus. That would just be wrong.

Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.