On parents? weekend, UNCW will host a concert by the Indigo Girls in what some are calling Dyke Fest 2004. On Coming Out Day in October, UNCW will have another gay speaker ?coming out? to the campus. At this time, no students will actually be forced to engage in homosexual behavior. They will merely have to agree that it is ?just as good as any other lifestyle.? University officials are considering a move to rename the university UNC-?Whatever, man? (UNC-WM).
Former Edwards intern admits to office impropriety
During a discussion among students in an N.C. State internet chat room, a man identifying himself as a former intern in John Edwards law office, admitted to engaging in acts of self-stimulation (after business hours) while sitting in the desk of the Democratic Vice-Presidential candidate. Given the recent difficulties of high ranking Democrats with a) college interns and, b) similar DNA evidence, columnist Mike Adams and CBS anchor Dan Rather tried to reach Senator Edwards for comment. Unfortunately, because Edwards was out shaking hands with the unemployed, neither Rather nor Adams was the first to break the story.
Having just finished a speech at WSSU, Jayson Blair beat them both to the punch. Blair is presently trying to discern the truth of the allegations. The former New York Times reporter still considers himself to be unemployed. When he does become fully employed, he plans to lower his college speaking fees.
College to initiate ?Vagina Week?
Nearly 200 women showed up last fall for a masturbation workshop in ?Loose Lounge? at Grinnell College in Iowa. As a result of the success of the workshop, the Feminist Action Coalition (FAC) decided to initiate a ?Vagina Week.? The organization stopped using the name Feminist Action Group after numerous gay students took offense.
The idea for the Grinnell ejaculation workshop may have come from the Beloit College Womyn?s Center. In the past, their ?Masturbation and Female Ejaculation? workshops have been followed by ?Sensual Eating Extravaganzas? for womyn only.
Presently, administrators at UNC-Chapel Hill are considering whether such workshops for ?womyn only? are discriminatory. Sex experts from UNC-Greensboro were flown in to advise the college that gender is merely an imaginary construct. Unisex bathrooms will now be installed throughout the entire UNC system using money from a recent statewide bond referendum.
The Passion of the Christ shown on university campus
Several Christian organizations at Mississippi State University (MSU) are sponsoring a showing of Mel Gibson?s ?Passion of the Christ? later this month. The film will be shown on campus at Humphrey Coliseum. A columnist and alumnus of MSU was delighted to find that ?masturbation workshop? and ?womyn?s center? yielded no results on a search of the university website while ?Passion of the Christ? did. He thinks there might be hope for higher education after all.
Mike S. Adams is a proud alumnus of Mississippi State University. He recently logged on to www.academicbias.com. You should do the same.