Mike Adams

Dear Bryan:

I?m sorry to hear about your recent experience in criminal justice class. I don?t know why so many criminal justice classes include chapters on ?queer theory? these days.  I was especially sorry to hear that one of your gay classmates got up in front of the class and read the following:

I want there to be a moratorium on straight marriage, on babies, on public displays of affection among the opposite sex and media images that promote heterosexuality. Until I can enjoy the same freedom of movement and sexuality as straights their privilege must stop and it must be given over to me and my queer sisters and brothers. Straight people will not do this voluntarily and so they must be forced into it. Straights must be frightened into it. Terrorized into it. Fear is the most powerful motivation. No one will give us what we deserve. Rights are not given they are taken, by force if necessary. It is easier to fight when you know who your enemy is. Straight people are your enemy?

?I hate Jesse Helms so much I?d rejoice if he dropped down dead. If someone killed him I?d consider it his own fault. I hate Ronald Reagan, too, because he mass-murdered my people for eight years. But to be honest, I hate him even more for eulogizing Ryan White without first admitting his guilt, without begging forgiveness for Ryan?s death and for the deaths of tens of thousands of other PWA?s-most of them queer.  I hate him for making a mockery of our grief. I hate the f**king Pope, and I hate John f**king Cardinal f**king O?Conner, and I hate the whole f**king Catholic Church. The same goes for the Military and especially for Amerika?s Law Enforcement Officials-the cops-state sanctioned sadists who brutalize street transvestites, prostitutes and queer prisoners?

I was also shocked by the final statement of the diatribe concerning ?Rules of Conduct for Straight People.? I understand that it was read out loud as follows:

?Do not flaunt your heterosexuality. Be discreet. Risk being mistaken for a lezie or a homo. If you feel these rules are unfair, go fight homophobia in straight clubs, or GO F**K YOURSELF!

Well Bryan, I know that you are disappointed by the quality of education you are getting here in the UNC system. Your belief that UNC is a national embarrassment is shared by many students, taxpayers, and alumni. But, remember, you are only 19 years old. Don?t give up yet! You can use this bad experience to have a little fun. You can also use it to teach others about the hypocrisy of the campus diversity movement.

In fact, if I were in your shoes, I would handle the situation by taking the following steps:

1. Just for fun, I would file a charge of homosexual harassment against the student who read that diatribe. Specifically, I would make several references to the new campus constitutional right to feel comfortable at all times.

2. Next, I would convince a Catholic student to file a charge of religious harassment against the person who read that statement. In the complaint, I would make sure to ask how the university would respond if a student transferring from Bob Jones University had read the same anti-Catholic statements.

3. I would petition to have your professor attend a sensitivity training session for allowing the classroom to become a hostile environment for heterosexual students.

4. I would ask the university to fund a new Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Trans-gendered, and Queer Identified Life and Study Center (LGBTQLSC). The center would help LGBTQ students deal with their violent tendencies. The LGBTQLSC would offer several classes on anger management.

5. I would also ask the school to initiate ?heterosexual Safe Zones? where straight students could go to seek protection from gay political fanatics who want to harm them.

6. I would also establish a ?Catholic safe zone? to protect Catholics from the same gay political fanatics.

7. Finally, I would file a motion for a list (under North Carolina General Statute 132) of all donors who have given more than $1000 to the school in the last five years. Mail them a copy of the ?Rules of Conduct for Straight People.? Make sure they are in touch with the university they support so generously.

Well, Bryan, that?s all I have for now. I could go on with more suggestions but I won?t. I would hate to be accused of stirring up controversy in the UNC system. I want to make sure that everyone feels comfortable at all times.

Mike Adams? (www.DrAdams.org) next book signing will be at Trover Shop in Washington, DC, on July 21 at 12:30 p.m. The store is located at 221 Pennsylvania Avenue S.E. on Capitol Hill.


Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.