Take Four: Bin Laden's wife did not die, wasn't used as a human shield and was only shot in the leg. Someone else's wife was killed, somewhere else in the house.
Take Five: A transport helicopter experienced "mechanical failure" and was forced to make a hard landing during the mission.
Take Six: A top-secret helicopter clipped the bin Laden compound wall, crashed and was purposely exploded after the mission to prevent our enemies from learning more about it.
Take Seven: The bin Laden photos would be released to the world as proof positive of his death.
Take Eight: The bin Laden photos would not be released to the world because no one needs proof and it's more important to avoid offending peaceful Muslims who supposedly don't embrace bin Laden as a "true" Muslim in the first place.
Take Nine: Bin Laden's compound was a lavish mansion.
Take Ten: Bin Laden's compound was a glorified pigsty.
Take Eleven: Bin Laden's compound had absolutely no television, phone or computer access.
Take Twelve: Bin Laden's compound was stocked with hard drives, thumb drives, DVDs and computers galore.
Take Thirteen: Er, remember that statement about bin Laden being armed? And then not armed? Well, the new version is that he had an AK-47 "nearby."
Take Fourteen: A gung-ho Obama spearheaded the "gutsy" mission.
Take Fifteen: A reluctant Obama dithered for 16 hours before being persuaded by CIA Director Leon Panetta.
Take Sixteen: Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and close advisers watched the raid unfold in real time -- "minute by minute," according to Carney -- and a gripping insider photo was posted immediately by the White House on the Flickr picture-sharing website for all to see.
Take Seventeen: Er, they weren't really watching real-time video "minute by minute" because there was at least nearly a half-hour that they "didn't know just exactly what was going on," Panetta clarified. Or rather, un-clarified.
Take Eighteen: Stalwart Obama's order was to kill, not capture, bin Laden.
Take Nineteen: Sensitive Obama's order was to kill or capture -- and that's why the SEAL team gave him a chance to surrender, upon which he resisted with arms, or actually didn't resist with arms, but sort of resisted without arms, except there was an AK-47 nearby, sort of, or maybe not, thus making it possible to assert that while Decisive Obama did tell the SEALs to kill bin Laden and should claim all credit for doing so, Progressive Obama can also be absolved by bleeding hearts because of the painstakingly concocted post facto possibility that bin Laden somehow threatened our military -- telepathically or something -- before being taken out.
Take Twenty: "We've been as forthcoming with facts as we can be," said an irritated Carney on Wednesday.
And they wonder why Americans of all political stripes think they're blowing smoke.
Michelle Malkin is the author of "Culture of Corruption: Obama and his Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks & Cronies" (Regnery 2010). Her e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
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