Michelle Malkin

 Well, I guess I must have masochistic tendencies, because when I learned that the UNITY conference would be coming to the Beltway this year, I volunteered to bring my divisively brown-skinned self back to the gathering. I contacted UNITY program co-chair O. Ricardo Pimentel, whom I once debated on immigration issues in Tempe, Ariz., and asked if UNITY would be interested in putting me on a panel to offer my ideologically diverse views on homeland security issues. He politely passed the buck, and I never heard back from UNITY.

 So, alas, I won't be joining UNITY's illusion of inclusion this year. No hard feelings. But I am hoping that some venturesome journalist will pass along my Media Diversity Test to the multicultural masses at UNITY. Test-takers get five points for every statement they mark "YES."

 1. I have never voted for a Democrat in my life.

 2. I think my taxes are too high.

 3. I supported Bill Clinton's impeachment.

 4. I voted for President Bush in 2000.

 5. I am a gun owner.

 6. I support school voucher programs.

 7. I oppose condom distribution in public schools.

 8. I oppose bilingual education.

 9. I oppose gay marriage.

 10. I want Social Security privatized.

 11. I believe racial profiling at airports is common sense.

 12. I shop at Wal-Mart.

 13. I enjoy talk radio.

 14. I am annoyed when news editors substitute the phrase "undocumented person" for "illegal alien."

 15. I do not believe the phrase "a chink in the armor" is offensive.

 16. I eat meat.

 17. I believe O.J. Simpson was guilty.

 18. I cheered when I learned that Saddam Hussein had been captured.

 19. I cry when I hear "Proud To Be an American" by Lee Greenwood.

 20. I don't believe The New York Times.

 I'm sure a large number of my culturally and ideologically diverse readers would earn a perfect score, as I did. What is the average score among UNITY attendees? Take the test, my fellow journalists of "diversity," and show us your true colors.

Michelle Malkin

Michelle Malkin is the author of "Culture of Corruption: Obama and his Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks & Cronies" (Regnery 2010).

©Creators Syndicate