3) Spousal forgiveness is a costly gift not to be despised, but restoration takes time. If Huma Weiner truly loves her husband and is sincere in stating that she has forgiven him -- in other words, if this is not simply a matter of political posturing -- then she should be commended rather than despised.
Yes, it is terribly humiliating for her and yes, to her critics, it makes her look like a spineless, co-dependent woman. But that level of love and commitment is exactly what marriage is about, and it is something all too rare in this day of meaningless marriage vows.
At the same time, to restore a broken marriage and a sex-addicted life takes time and effort, and barring divine intervention of some kind, it requires serious professional help. The very fact that Weiner bounced back to politics so quickly -- and on quite a big stage at that -- was a likely sign that the deeper issues had not been adequately addressed.
Serious wounds do not heal overnight, and now, with even more destructive revelations surfacing by the day, we can only wonder if the forgiveness extended by his wife will be trampled on as well.
4) Any one of us could become “Carlos Danger.” It’s one thing to be caught doing shameful things, like having an affair or sleeping with prostitutes. It’s another thing to assume an alternate identity like “Carlos Danger” in the midst of it. What kind of person does that? And where in the world did Weiner come up with that name?
Yet Weiner has no monopoly on foolishness and perversion, and those of us who think we could never do such idiotic, ugly things might be too self-righteous for own good. At the risk of sounding like some moralizing preacher -- actually, I don’t mind sounding like that at all -- we should ask ourselves to what extent we are guilty of similar things, just on a smaller, less extreme, more private basis.
Have you ever sent out emails or texts that were subtly flirtatious? Have you regularly looked at images at that were inappropriate but just "not that bad?" Have you been unfaithful to your spouse with your eyes or your heart? And do you ever live a double life on any level, between work and home or between real-life personality and online personality?
Those who mercilessly mock Weiner might soon find themselves looking in the mirror at the next “Carlos Danger.”
Michael Brown holds a Ph.D. in Near Eastern Languages and Literatures from New York University. He is the author of 25 books, includingLine of Fire. Follow him at AskDrBrown on Facebook or @drmichaellbrown on Twitter.
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