The girls on The View

Mary Grabar
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Posted: Dec 20, 2006 4:20 PM
The girls on The View

After watching The View and following the inane statements made on the program, I’ve come to the conclusion that it really is true what Aristotle, Saint Paul, and John Milton said: Women, without male guidance, are illogical, frivolous, and incapable of making any decisions beyond what to make for dinner.

We’ve seen what happens when women put their professionally styled heads together and make statements about current events. A few months ago, Rosie O’Donnell said, “radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam,” and earlier this week show regular Joy Behar compared Donald Rumsfeld to Adolf Hitler.

But every burned-out hippie I’ve talked to since 2001 has been making the comparisons between the Bush administration and the Nazis. O’Donnell and Behar could have gotten their talking points from the bright leaflets of every communist youth group that’s been hoping to organize a day to “stop business as usual” and proclaiming in apocalyptic terms the dangers of the Bush administration to very survival of the “planet.” They also agitate for the legalization of marijuana.

Such statements are becoming quite tedious.

But it’s a sign of our crumbling civilization that a bunch of girls of varying ages and ethnic backgrounds, sitting around all dressed up for a coffee klatch, some of them with cleavage spilling out of Victoria’s Secret Infinity Edge Push-Up bras, spout off opinions borrowed from disturbed teenagers and Michael Moore, and call it a talk show.

This was the danger of giving women the vote. The danger to conservatives (and the survival of this country) is the voting bloc of single women, i.e., those who lack the guidance of a man in the form of a husband or intellectual mentor.

These are women who pride themselves on being independent and empowered when they dress like prostitutes (look at the view of cleavage on the View!). These are the women who watch the View. These are the women who support Hillary Rodham Clinton. These are the women on the show who ask Senator Clinton questions like “Do you think being a mom will help you in the White House?” as they did on December 20. These are the women who think it matters that a potential presidential candidate waxes on about the same themes in her re-released book, It Takes a Village: that preschool programs need to be expanded, that working parents should have time off to take care of their kids. This is the potential presidential candidate who was applauded on the show for allowing one of her staff members to bring in her baby’s playpen.

This is a woman who started off with a discussion about how much she likes to do crafts at Christmas time.

Yes, I can imagine: we’ll have playpens and parenting classes and crafts classes in the new Clinton White House, maybe even a special prayer room for the Muslims and breaks five times a day for them. This will bring peace to the world by setting an example, for all the terrorists will supposedly drop their weapons in awe of this “village.” Hillary’s answer to the Iraq question was that she wanted the country to have a “conversation” again. What—like the one they have on The View?

News flash: there are fanatics who want to annihilate us and Hillary Rodham Clinton is talking about crafts and “conversations.”

The other guest was Kaye Ballard. Her newsworthy item was that she had slept twice with the late Marlon Brando. The question “Was he good?” posed by I forget who was not answered. Ballard just said she loved Brando but then talked about her four dogs: “They’re my life,” she said. See?

Probably many of the women watching the View are stay-at-home moms. But I question what kind of men they have for husbands, or “partners”; they’re probably English professors who have “Peace is Patriotic” bumper stickers on their Volvos. They’re probably the ones who work under department heads who have imposed the popular pedagogical policy of the “maternal presence” in the classroom. These male teachers try to be “facilitators” and nurture spoiled college students who are text-messaging insults about them as they drone on about the “other” and feelings. They write conference papers agreeing with their colleagues that the whole canon of dead white male authors should be eliminated to make way for women writers who eschew linear (read logical) and therefore patriarchal thought. They probably sit down to pee. Well, it stands to reason that a show like The View, with all women, would turn out the way it does. It’s not surprising. After all, this is what happens at a bridal or baby shower. Women get all gussied up and squeal and play silly games. They have gift bags. On The View, Rosie pulled up a handbag filled with Elizabeth Taylor’s brand of perfume, White Diamonds, as a “gift” for everyone.

Ever observe a table at a restaurant filled with women? Good Lord, it’s exhausting just watching the gesticulating and gabbing. Whenever I get invited to a “luncheon” I head for the hills.

Not that there is anything wrong with such gatherings and not that I have anything against other women. In fact I have a few female friends. But such squeal-a-thons (“I love what you’ve done to your hair!”) are not the proper places in which to make public political statements. When women have been the minority among men they have proven themselves to be quite competent. Look at Jeane Kirkpatrick, Margaret Thatcher, and Condoleezza Rice. Did any of these women attend any of these on-air chat fests?

Men, on the other hand, are quite capable of holding forth intelligently among themselves, as commentators have done through the years. You don’t have men squealing “Oh, I love your tie!” as they set to embark on a discussion about the future of free world.

I know many women will disagree with me. They will be hurt. Maybe angry. There may be some tears. The lesbians will come to their defense. All the Rosie O’Donnell’s will give them big hugs, maybe even pull them on their laps as Rosie did with Danny DeVito.

So what.

I admit I’m not a typical woman.

When I was a graduate student, for $50, I participated in the Psychology Department’s study and took the Myers-Briggs personality test and came up, not surprisingly, as an INTP. My type is the absent-minded professor, which I learned was very rare among women.

The test pegged me. At a party (party being the situation that many of the questions were about), I study people to determine if they’ve read Truth and Method before talking to them. They have to pass my test, but then I don’t let them go until they plead starvation and head for the hors d’oeuvres.

No I’m not a typical woman. I read philosophy. I hate to shop. I don’t care what I’m wearing. Nothing in my house is coordinated. If I had been on The View I probably would have taken that old-lady-Elizabeth-Taylor-perfume out of the handbag that Rosie pulled up and dumped it on her head.

But I’ve read Aristotle, Saint Paul, and John Milton, and I think they have very good things to say.