Question: My nephew came out to his parents (my sister and brother-in-law) as gay. He’s only a high school sophomore, so it seems early to declare his sexuality. But the issue for us is that we are Christians. Our children are younger and we have not told them about sex yet, much less what the Bible teaches about homosexuality. I would rather not tell my kids about their cousin yet.
My sister is angry that I’m “ashamed” of her son. How should we handle this? Answer: Lovingly. First, remind your sister that you love her and her son, and that his sexual orientation doesn’t change that. (Keep in mind this is a biblical teaching, too.) Second, remind her that your job is to raise the children God put into your care, and that includes making thoughtful, age-appropriate decisions about what and when to teach them about human sexuality. You shouldn’t be guilted into exploiting your children’s innocence just so your sister feels her son is accepted. Simply reassure her that when the time comes for you to teach your children about sexuality, you’ll do it in accordance with your faith and values, and that the principle value of Christianity is love. Therefore, she needn’t worry whether your family approves or accepts her son as a gay person. You’ll all love him and respect him just because he’s family.