Then again, Miss Ingraham offers perhaps the only reasonable response to such fads as holiday sweaters, internet dating, and mealtime house calls from Jehovah's Witnesses: A good laugh.
"The path from Florence Henderson to Snooki is a rocky one! It's a path that we should avoid, and help our children avoid, if at all possible. (If for no other reason than to stop the proliferation of the Snooki bump, I believe it is possible.)," Miss Ingraham offers.
"Of Thee I Zing" should make us realize that if we put today's American culture into a time capsule, we will all be a mortified when future generations discover the truth about us. That is, assuming they have regained some cultural decorum by then.
Perhaps in that distant, decorous future, our spray tans, invisible braces, sagging pants, flip flops at formal functions, blue jeans at funerals, and fascination with the likes of Charlie Sheen will be only the outdated trappings of a society that lost, for a time, its good breeding.
"Taken individually these cultural failings are not the end of civilization," Miss Ingraham says. "But taken as a whole they indicate that we have lost respect for our human dignity and are setting a truly tragic example for those who will follow us."
"We are better than this as a people, and so are our kids."