Nowhere in Ms. Hax’s advice or the woman’s question does anyone address the issue, “What is best for the baby?”
It’s no wonder. Ms. Hax would lose too many readers with that honest answer. Study after study affirm that what’s best for the baby is to grow up in a two-parent household with his or her biological mom and dad, who remain married for better or worse till death do they part.
Talk about your unpopular advice.
The ramifications to children when families fail to form are disheartening and well documented. But no one is looking out for the children in scenarios such as this; just for their own selfish interests and myopic concerns.
Here’s my advice for “Married?”: By engaging in a sexual relationship, you took the risk that you would bring a child into the world. Now you need to take responsibility for that decision.
Your boyfriend — the father of your child — wants to marry you and create something positive and profound: A family. Yes, marriage is difficult, but certainly no more challenging than being a single parent.
Your child deserves your best effort to create the most positive environment in which to grow up.
Perhaps it’s time all of you did just that.