“Parents must transform these bad examples into assets as they use these instances to teach their children. We must explore how these actions would make us feel, and then find comparable examples in our daily lives that children can identify with,” Mr. Forni says.
Which is to say, imagine how Taylor Swift felt when her big moment was stolen by a selfish, thoughtless buffoon. Now imagine how your brother feels when he’s telling the family about his day, and you interrupt and make yourself the center of attention. “The basis of civility is to realize that we all bruise, inside and out. Mannerly behavior is that which protects the feelings of others.”
But what is the skill that promotes mannerly behavior? “Self restraint,” says Mr. Forni.
“We must instill self-restraint in our children. We do much to instill self-esteem in our children, but not much to reinforce self-restraint.” It was self-restraint that was lacking in every example of public incivility that unfolded during the past week.
Here’s another lesson suggested by Mr. Forni: – we must teach our children that this sort of behavior is wrong. “We have to make clear to children that those gestures in which high profile people find themselves is wrong…they did something wrong, something unfair to another person.”
“Our culture of extreme informality makes us vulnerable to crossing into incivility,” Mr. Forni says.
Imagine if we simply resurrected the notion that it’s wrong to treat people badly, and that self-restraint and a more formal standard of behavior are ways to avoid such actions. We’d be living in a much more civilized culture.
But then what would we watch on Youtube?