Gender-equity specialists, take note: By contrast, only 189,000 kids are cared for by a stay-at-home dad -- 105,000 brave male souls in the whole country. A funny thing seems to have happened on the way to the gender revolution. But what, exactly?
Were not full-time mothers supposed to have disappeared by the 21st century? Does not research show that most children in day care do fine? Why would any modern woman choose to stay home with her kids?
Danielle Crittenden wrestles with this timely question in her new novel, Amanda Bright @ home (read review) about an affluent career woman who finally decides to head home for good. Hilarity, and a great deal of angst, ensues. After years of indoctrination about the importance of avoiding traditional feminine roles, many women find, as one reader put it, "I am Amanda: I never thought I'd be home with my children, and I've had to sort out a lot of complicated feelings about that." Women surprised by babies.
There is one big difference between today's stay-at-home moms and those of the '50s: Women today make a conscious choice, and so do their husbands. To stay home today, mothers have to recruit husbands into the role of primary breadwinner, no small responsibility, especially if it is now considered a gift and not a masculine duty.
Is the strong economy of the '90s responsible for the new willingness of women to stay home? Partly, maybe, but the strong economy of the '80s had no such effect. My own suspicion is that this new trend is part of a larger, modest but encouraging shift toward greater commitment to marriage and family generally: Divorce rates appear to have eased, so women are less afraid to rely upon their husbands while children are small; rates of unmarried childbearing are beginning to top off -- a new awareness of the importance of marriage and fathers for children?
Maggie Gallagher is a nationally syndicated columnist, a leading voice in the new marriage movement and co-author of The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially.
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