Most of our fears around advocating marriage are overblown: Research shows marriages undertaken to legitimate a pregnancy are not any more unstable; living together doesn't protect children in the same way; adults who marry in their early to mid-20s do not have especially high rates of divorce (teens are another matter). When are we going to stop being afraid of speaking the truth?
Speaking truth works. About a decade ago, for example, society spread the message that teen pregnancy is a bad idea. According to Child Trends, teen pregnancy rates have plunged 22 percent since 1991. The bad news is that the rate of unwed births to young women in their early 20s (the group with the highest rate of unwed births) leaped 12 percent.
That is not so surprising. Most of our current teen pregnancy programs imply to young Americans that the problem is age: Wait until you are 20 to have your out-of-wedlock children, we tell them. And apparently they listen.
What if instead teen pregnancy programs had pushed a different message: Wait to have a baby, yes. But what are you waiting for? Wait until you are grown, educated and married to have a baby.
Go ahead, say it to someone you love: A baby is a great reason to marry a good guy. Ten years from now, how many more happy homes and protected childhoods could we have?