De Pasquale's Dozen with Author Kurt Schlichter

Lisa De Pasquale

7/23/2012 1:47:00 PM - Lisa De Pasquale

One of the wonderful things about Andrew Breitbart was that he recognized funny, smart and courageous conservatives and used his networks to promote them. In 2009, Breitbart recruited Kurt Schlichter to write for the Big websites. Schlichter is the author of the new e-book, I Am a Conservative, which quickly became the number one best-selling “Political Humor” e-book on Amazon.

The book is largely based on his popular “I am a conservative” tweets. An example, “I am a Conservative: We need more shame and guilt in our society. Feeling bad is a powerful disincentive to parasitism.”

Schlichter frequently discusses legal, military and political issues on Fox News, NRAnews,com’s Cam and Company, Dennis Miller Show, Hugh Hewitt Show, among many others.

In addition to his conservative writing, Schlichter serves in the California National Guard as an Army infantry colonel. He is a veteran of the Persian Gulf War and Operation Enduring Freedom (Kosovo) and is a certified paratrooper with silver “jump wings.” He is also a successful trial lawyer in Los Angeles with clients who are businesses and individuals, including some involving confidential Hollywood disputes.

In the introduction for I Am a Conservative, Schlichter wrote, “I want to thank my late friend Andrew Breitbart. I know a bit about leaders – I’ve served with many – but I’ve only met a few visionaries. Andrew was one. He had a vision of a technology-empowered culture in which the gatekeepers who never would have let something like this book see the light of day ten years ago now have to suck up the fact that I can publish it and you can read it and they no longer get a vote.”

The Breitbart legacy endures because of the many conservatives he has helped and cultivated over the years.

Each week the De Pasquale's Dozen asks political figures, free market-minded writers and entertainers to take a break from politics and talk about their pop culture obsessions.

1. If there was a television channel that only showed one movie over and over, what movie should it be?

There is such a channel and it does – It’s called AMC and the movie is The Godfather. I particularly like Michael’s innovative strategy for resolving differences of opinion. Too bad the GOP Establishment doesn’t seem to have the same instinct for decisively settling accounts.

2. What’s one of your favorite movie quotes?

Let me come out of left field with this one. I particularly like Gregory Peck’s tirade against whiny David Niven in Guns of Navarone. All Niven does is bitch about this and bitch about that and Peck, gun in hand, just loses it:

Now Miller, you know that when you put on a uniform and learn how to do it, it’s not hard to kill someone, anyone. Sometimes it’s harder not to. You think you’ve been getting away with it all this time, standing by. Well, son, your bystanding days are over! You’re in it now, up to your neck! They told me that you’re a genius with explosives. Start proving it! You got me in the mood to use this thing and by God, if you don’t think of something, I’ll use it on you!

"They told me you’re a genius…start proving it!” I love that! In a country where the lapdog media keeps telling us how smart and wise and awesome our betters in the liberal elite are and how we should simply sign over sovereignty of our lives to them despite their track record of utter failure, I love the idea of accountability underlying this little soliloquy.

Also, naturally, I love the utter contempt of “Go ahead, make my day.” That’s probably the most caring quote in any movie.

3. In A Clockwork Orange, Malcolm McDowell is strapped in with his eyes propped open and forced to watch images until he was "cured." If you could give President Obama, Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Leader Harry Reid the "Clockwork Orange treatment," what movie would you make them watch?

Because I think they are all immune to any kind of learning, since their world views are less ideological than purely calculated to appeal to paying off the losers who will keep them in power, I would not bother with trying to teach them anything. Instead, I’d make them watch Captain America over and over. Its pro-American message will annoy them while its explosions and shiny stuff will keep their attention focused on the screen and off screwing up our country more. That’s a win-win.

4. What pop culture souvenir do you own that people would be surprised to learn that you cherish?

I saw The Replacements play at San Diego State in 1986. An amazing show – Paul Westerberg (hammered, of course) at one point stumbles off stage and Bobby Stinson comes to the mike and improvs a rockin’ tune with lyrics that consisted entirely of the word “Yeah” until Paul wandered back again. Later, for some reason, Paul’s guitar case appears on stage and gets smashed to bits. I have a small chunk of it.

5. What's your current “guilty pleasure” non-news television show?

It used to be The Simpsons but I’ve grown weary of it. The new ones have an uplifting message of caring and love, which I hate. I’m not guilty about most of the stuff I like – Justified, Community, Modern Family. My wife, Irina, just got us the Firefly box set, which we watch at night before crashing. I’m leery of the way nerds were delighted when I tweeted that – One of us! One of us! It’s also a bit odd to have Adam Baldwin in my bedroom when we watch it. But I’m not guilty about it. I am guilty about the Gordon Ramsay cooking shows Hell’s Kitchen and Master Chef. For some reason I totally dig them, and I am a worse person for doing so.

6. Which movie, television or rock star would cause you to lose your ability to speak if you ever met?

Humphrey Bogart, because he’s dead and zombies freak me out. Through work as a lawyer and just living in LA I often encounter people I’ve heard of. It’s hard to be stunned into awe when you see somebody who you know from the big screen in Ralph’s standing next to you comparing prices on ground chuck.

7. What was the first rock concert you ever attended and where did you sit and who went with you?

I don’t remember! But I do remember having tickets to the Who with opening band The Clash in 1982 or so and deciding to sell the ticket instead of going. Worst decision ever.

8. Tell me about your favorite teacher and how he or she influenced your life.

In seventh grade, Mrs. Schreiber was my history teacher. She had this Austrian accent and always sounded like she was about to demand my papers. She was supposed to be really hard, but I got along with her. She hated stupid people and we kind of bonded over that.

9. What’s the best present you ever received as a child?

A Swiss Army knife in 3rd grade. Weapons are always awesome.

10. Who would be on the perfect Red Eye panel?

Like me, Greg Gutfeld grew up in San Mateo, California. In fact, he was in the private school down the street from my high school at about the same time as me. I’d make it an all San Mateo celebrity panel, plus me. Tom Brady went to a high school there, and Neal Schon of Journey went to my school, Aragon, for like a year in the early 70s. Sadly, no one would occupy the leg chair since San Mateo has never produced any hot girls.

11. What advice do you remember your mother or father giving you? Did you take it?

Before I went off to law school, my mom, who was a judge, told me to remember that “Everybody lies.” I remembered that and use it daily as a lawyer.

12. Tell me about the moment you decided to enter the political arena.

I was involved in conservative stuff as a writer for UC San Diego’s California Review in the 80’s. I did freelance writing in the 90’s, and then some stand-up, but nothing really political. In about 2009, a law school friend introduced me to Andrew Breitbart via Facebook. I kind of knew who he was and read the brand new Big Hollywood site, but we really only talked about 80’s music and Mexican food. Then I saw that the new Star Trek movie was going to be premiered in the Persian Gulf for our troops. I sent Andrew an email as a tip and he wrote back telling me to write it myself. I did, and I got sucked back in. I haven’t escaped yet.