9. In response, Congress goes into emergency session and passes comprehensive immigration reform, with Reps. Tom Tancredo, R-Colo., and James Sensenbrenner, R-Wis., leading the charge to match "willing workers" with "available jobs," after both admit that their constituents were unhappy with the "illegal alien-free zone" they helped create.
10. Presidential aspirants agree not to air ads attacking each other but instead spend their time explaining their own positions on issues -- and they promise to limit their ads to a period not to exceed six weeks before each primary or caucus.
11. Americans are so encouraged by the change in politics as usual that they start paying more attention to public affairs. More Americans register to vote than cast ballots for "American Idol."
12. Osama bin Laden's remains are discovered in a cave in Afghanistan. Ayman al Zawahiri is captured by Egyptian special forces and begs to be transferred to Guantanamo. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad becomes a Baha'i and Moqtada al Sadr converts to Buddhism. Al Qaeda and its offspring disband worldwide.
Linda Chavez is chairman of the Center for Equal Opportunity and author of Betrayal: How Union Bosses Shake Down Their Members and Corrupt American Politics .
Be the first to read Linda Chavez's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com delivered each morning to your inbox.