I've given up on making resolutions or predictions for the New Year. The resolutions rarely last past the Super Bowl, and the only predictions that come true are the most depressing ones. So this year, I'm creating a Wish List for 2007. This is what I hope will happen. And given enough goodwill and a little luck, who knows, they just might come true.
1. Donald Trump decides that all those vacuous and misbehaving beauties he's been parading before ogling audiences over the years aren't worth his time and money and decides to donate the cost of the beauty pageants to "Operation Smile," a charity that helps poor children get plastic surgery to correct facial deformities.
2. Kim Jong Il tours the North Korean countryside and discovers his people are starving and miserable. He orders his factories to stop building weapons and start turning out farm equipment and his scientists to abandon research on nuclear weapons and instead develop hardier strains of rice and wheat.
3. The Angel Gabriel appears to 1 million faithful Muslims during the Haj in Mecca, instructing them to renounce violence and instead devote themselves to jihad against their own sinfulness.
4. Gwyneth Paltrow flunks the test to become a British citizen and is dropped from the dinner party lists of those Londoners whose conversations she described in 2006 as far more "interesting" than those of plebeian Americans.
5. Michael Richards, Mel Gibson and Rosie O'Donnell enter anger management treatment. Richards announces he will star in a new version of "Black Like Me." Gibson donates his entire personal fortune to the Anti-Defamation League. And O'Donnell registers as a Republican.
6. New Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., pledge not to engage in class warfare or getting even with Republicans and instead focus on serious Social Security and Medicare reform.
7. President Bush spends a solid week reviewing tapes of his press conferences and impromptu speeches and decides he has to learn how to communicate better. He enlists the help of outgoing British Prime Minister Tony Blair and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who help him become, if not Winston Churchill or Ronald Reagan, at least another George H.W. Bush.
8. Twelve million illegal aliens in the country disappear overnight. While at first there is rejoicing in some circles, prices at the supermarket go up double digits -- that is, when fresh fruits, vegetables, meat and poultry are available at all. Office buildings shut down when there is no one to clean them. Home construction grinds to a halt. And millions of women call in sick when there is no one to take care of their children.
Linda Chavez is chairman of the Center for Equal Opportunity and author of Betrayal: How Union Bosses Shake Down Their Members and Corrupt American Politics .
Be the first to read Linda Chavez's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com delivered each morning to your inbox.
Paying Attention Now? Gosnell Movie Campaign Reaches $1 Million After MSM Ignore Gruesome Abortion Story | Cortney O'Brien
Kansas Students and Parents Not Thrilled About Michelle Obama Speaking at High School Graduation Ceremony | Christine Rousselle